Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I was doubting my boyfriend's feelings for me, so I asked him if he found me attractive. He replied, "Well, you're thin enough…" That's all. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML
Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying, "It's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too." The picture was from Saturday night. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I saw a picture of me from a night of drinking that surprisingly looked really really good. I showed my boyfriend and he agreed with me. Then he added, "What's funny is it looks nothing like you!" FML
Today, I was trying to seduce a really good-looking girl, when all of a sudden she leaned in towards me and said, “Sorry, I’m not drunk enough to make out with you.“ FML
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Top comments
pidri 0
doesn't sound like ur dating her sounds like she's using you for ass.
MoonyIce 0
... Wow. Classy.
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Comments (60)
eazye94 0
lol
Dethlord101 0
that's just funny.. drunk all the time
Eresbel 0
YDI for thinking that a person can be thin AND curvy. That's such a cop out from actually describing her. And now I know I'm going to get replies saying "That happens! I'm thin and curvy!" Pics or it didn't happen, people. I've never seen such a thing as "thin and curvy".
CyclonePsycho 1
Actually, it's perfectly possible to be thin and curvy. Ever see a skeleton? ;)
bananapajama 0
scarlett johanson.
st0815 9
That's what silicone is for.
emilyjune519 0
And what a cliched thing to say: "Thing and toned but curvy in all the right places." FAIL. They definitely suit each other considering the way they were both fishing so desperately for compliments.
CaseAndPoint 0
Least you're getting ass, its a shallow relationship for that reason. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship stop fishing for compliments and be a proper gentleman.
Crittz 0
She sounds like a loser. What kind of chick asks shit like "describe my body"? That's the worst kind of fishing ever. Self absorbed *****.
happypapp12 0
If you drink alcohol you can get drunk
ambrz 0
I guess u didn't know... lol sorry:(
mytinaperez 0
HAHAHA:D she probably has a really good sense of humor..I'm the same way.lol:)
uxoriouswidow 0
Damn... a thin sexy woman using you for sex when she's drunk; must suck ass.
evilkid42 0
it is a good one in my book