Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML
Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, at a work function, I noticed that my boss and my girlfriend kept leaving the room at the same time. Fearing the worst, I waited outside in the hallway. As soon as they went into the bathroom, I pushed my way in. Sex? Nope. They were doing lines of coke off the bathroom counter. FML
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Top comments
Garagedwella 26
You couldn't of just gone into a bathroom to handle your little itch?
extrasnipes 22
YDI for doing that much in public. If you went for a quick scratch secretly when no one was there then maybe fyl.
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Comments (39)
Migole 36
YDI big time. You were in the break room so I can only image you were going to touch the fridge etc. with your dirty hands afterwards. It's not that hard to go to the bathroom, scratch yourself and thoroughly wash your hands with soap before you leave...
Jryan952015 7
And that's when you say come on (girls name) I saw you scratching you private part in here the other day. Dont be surprised that other people do it to.
littlekellilee 45
That's the kind of thing that leads to awkward, confused, and irrecoverable silence. Even as a joke, never say "I saw you scratching your private parts" to anyone outside immediate family.
clairesucks 37
I don't think I would even say that to an immediate family member.
NeatNit 33
Ah, the good old BSO... I'll see you there next year!
91hayek 31
Best worded FML in a long time. Going in my faves.
worldclassrager 41
It's empty yes but it's not private...
RememberSchlitz 9
Buddy: All balls itch. It's a fact! - "Just One Of The Guys", 1985
FalloutScrolls 25
We have these amazing places called bathrooms that usually contain stalls which block one's view. YDI
ThisBudsForYou 3
Did you tell her that you need a hand?
brycemash 9
Sounds like the beginning of a porno
spicypie 10
Maybe don't do that in public? Or if it's like and emergency or something, do it in a more private area than the break room