Love, Awkward and Drugs: Have a Coke and smile

Have a Coke and smile

By Cokerella - 14/08/2021 09:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at a work function, I noticed that my boss and my girlfriend kept leaving the room at the same time. Fearing the worst, I waited outside in the hallway. As soon as they went into the bathroom, I pushed my way in. Sex? Nope. They were doing lines of coke off the bathroom counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 121

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Same thing different taste

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 5 989

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 2 441

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 515

You deserved it 4 571

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 446

You deserved it 4 980

By ballthlete - 06/09/2015 04:55 - United States - Edmond

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 452

You deserved it 13 142

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 527

You deserved it 36 927

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 613

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 31/07/2017 12:00 - United States - Hurricane

Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 3 818

By JoLaFritte - 07/11/2008 10:10 - France

Today, thinking that I was alone at work, I started rummaging through my nose, trying to find something interesting. It was only after about a minute that I noticed that my boss was looking straight at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 952

You deserved it 50 428

By ronz - 08/02/2012 13:26

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 774

You deserved it 44 739

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 14 August 2021 19:32

They were doing the coke so they could have coked-up sex. You just ****-blocked them this time. Find a lawyer familiar with "alienation of affection." Your inevitable divorce will be a money-loser, so you'll need to hit up your boss to balance that out.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 15 August 2021 0:10

****!! Then why am I paying all those girls not to date them anymore? Are you suggesting that I'm a gullible idiot?

Comments

Plop 17

Saturday 14 August 2021 18:44

Come on, how's that an FML? Your girlfriend wasn't cheating, and there's a chance your boss will like you more for having a girlfriend who's so much cooler than you! All the cool kids do it anyway. (Since some people seem to having reading comprehension problems: this post is not to be taken seriously)

kfchicken 31

Sunday 15 August 2021 7:44

it's not about reading comprehension... in case you didn't know sarcasm doesn't translate over text

Plop 17

Sunday 15 August 2021 19:19

I'm well aware that sarcasm doesn't translate well. But you'd think that there'd be a point where if you write something that is quite obviously far over the top, most people would understand that it's sarcastic. But you're right, "reading comprehension" wasn't the correct term, or at least not in the usual sense.

Annies 17

Saturday 14 August 2021 19:21

Would you rather she be having an affair?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 14 August 2021 19:32

Plop 17

Saturday 14 August 2021 20:52

Well, it's his fault for not suggesting a coked-up threesome. It's almost like OP went out of his way to live his life in the most boring way possible. Also, I believe there is a pun to be made about "coked-up" and "cocked-up", but I'll leave it to you, you've earned it.