Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML
Today, I had a panic attack at 2 a.m. because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML
Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML
Today, I finally got my wish of having snow on my birthday. Excited, I failed to realise this meant that no one could come to my party, including myself as we were all snowed out of town. What did I spend my 18th doing? Tidying our house. FML
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
Today, snow finally arrived in my area, in very large quantities. Also today, I seem to have caught my dad's cold. The town is too snowed in for traveling and my medications are running low, so I guess we'll suffer together. FML
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Top comments
Damn_Hippster 11
Pelt him back with your shit!
elephantom12 9
Few seconds late for that one buddy, now it's time we pelt you with thumbs downs.
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Comments (191)
leadman1989 16
He pelted you with snow while you were having his toilet babies? What a jerk, doesn't he know he's gonna be a dad?
bizarre_ftw 22
Previous FML reference..?
Zoranius 6
Jingle his balls, jingle his balls, jingle them all the way!
every1luvsboners 11
Throw back a yellow snowball.
nightwolf86 7
YDI for not locking the door and windows
Ergayles 9
Some bathrooms are easy to get into, even if the doors are locked.
e077 15
How does it feel to be an idiot?
x_xSublime 0
Yes, because the first thing I do when I go into the bathroom is lock the doors, AND WINDOWS. Paranoid much? I doubt that she KNEW he was going to come barging in and start snowballing her. OP- be glad he at least has a sense of humor :) Alsoooo, revenge is a dish best served cold.
yourkindacool18 5
watch out where OP goes, don't eat that yellow snow
GenaALazer 22
AHHAHAHAHAHHA, I must laugh at you, HAHAHAHAHAH. - I love everybody♥.
KiddNYC1O 22
Wtf, Pikachu!
wriptidez 0
number 4
Zomg_Okay 27
Wait 'til he falls asleep, then sneak outside and get a ton of snow to drop on him. Believe me, it's a very effective form of revenge. My uncle taught me that lesson after I got him in the face with a snowball. ;_;
perdix 31
Smart tactical move -- he knew you were unarmed and unpantsed. He also knew he was safe since a woman's pee stream is only effective a point-blank range. Study the tactics of Hannibal, Napoleon and Patton to plan your revenge. Blurting out loudly that your husband has a tiny dick at a cocktail party is probably what you'll find is the historical counteratack. No one's going to let him whip it out to rebut your claim.
Blackmail111 9
Or if his **** is tiny then the plan will be fool proof because if he does whip it out your plan won't be ruined
perdix 31
Yes, that's the Napoleonic genius of the stratagem -- the enemy cannot win, but only choose various levels of losing. Moral of the story: Don't **** with someone who consults the FML Swarm.
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Lucky, i've never seen snow :c
ilovebigtimerush 0
Me either...
Okayitwasme 0
Lucky I've never seen rats, snakes, nasty spiders, raccoons, roaches or other creepy crawlers. Or ticks and flees. Just snow! Might be cold, but fun to play in. Take that any day over infestation!