Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML
Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML
Today, I'm very tired because last night my cat decided to announce to the world that another cat had wandered into the backyard at the top of his lungs. At 2 AM. FML
Today, my neighbours were screaming for their "lost" cat again. I've already seen the cat multiple times. In my garden. Pissing. FML
Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML
Today, I spent 20 minutes calling for my cat, worried she’d escaped. I found her in the bathroom, sitting in the sink, calmly watching me yell her name. She didn’t even flinch. I realized I’d been shouting “Fluffy!” at the open window. All my neighbors now probably know my cat’s name. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, while I was driving around the neighborhood, I passed my neighbors' house only to see their dog with a full-grown dead cat in its mouth. Only one family owns a cat in our neighborhood. FML
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Top comments
marmots 0
Do you live in Springfield?
Jacobt24 19
Hours you say? She can blow my whistle anytime
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Comments (102)
GreenMuzz 0
No need to get agitated OP. Just calmly get out of bed, gently open the window and kindly shout "SHUT THE **** UP, YOU THUNDERCUNT!".
slinginmac14 0
Hahaha kindly shout
Firsher 0
Your face is so... So... So Mr. Bean.
xJudii 5
Well...did she ever find her cat?
mgon93 0
Haha "blew her whistle"
wriptidez 0
rrofl
wriptidez 0
rrofl
Sara01 5
Why a whistle?
Naox741_fml 6
Maybe a special one, for animals ?
mikedamico6 0
buy a cat say it's hers or steal the whistle which ever is easier.
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Time to get a recording of a dog barking and play it outside her house at all hours of the night.
newmandotcom 6
there's this stuff called music....it usually blocks out annoying things like that....
Futacy 30
there's this stuff called sleep....people usually try to get some at 6:00am when they're not blasting music or listening to crazy old ladies blow their butts off....
DankestM112 0
tell her to shut the hell up !