Health: Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose... - FML

By mwja - 26/02/2011 22:59 - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 519

You deserved it 3 939

Health

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Rayvyn - 21/10/2009 16:40 - United States

Today, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to soothe it with some Ramen, which helped for a while. Later on, I felt worse and threw up the soup. Noodles came out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 7 359

By Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 5 577

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 79

By BloodyMarry - 04/06/2013 17:53 - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 743

You deserved it 4 728

By Etta - 04/03/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 522

You deserved it 583

By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 920

You deserved it 45 078

By jack the ripped - 30/04/2016 04:38 - United States

Today, while examining my busted nose in the mirror, I had a sneeze attack. Now it looks like someone got their throat slashed in my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 101

You deserved it 1 466

By BurnBabyBurn - 22/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Roberta

Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 682

You deserved it 618

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 095

You deserved it 5 949

By yankesik - 03/01/2016 22:42 - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 277

You deserved it 1 824

Next

Top comments

SirEBC 7

Sunday 27 February 2011 3:22

I feel like there should be a "*Takes off sunglasses*" before the last sentence.

MsSoulReaper 27

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:06

That sucks OP but you'll be alright :P no worries!

Comments

SarahStarzz 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:06

haha YDI :P

MsSoulReaper 27

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:06

That sucks OP but you'll be alright :P no worries!

Hal0kittyable 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:06

Ouch...maybe you shouldn't eat that anymore...

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:17

Give up good food because of a bloody nose?! I think nott.

philpip 7

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:20

Nicely worded! ;D

TheWazBe 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 7:27

I actually shat my asshole out? Is that correct? Just wondering.

Adamantoise 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 9:04

Maybe it wasn't the food. A spontaneous nose bleed, perhaps.

insanesna1l 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 11:38

nose bleeds can be caused by spicy foods or exertion during exercise

crazytoaster 2

Sunday 27 February 2011 13:10

Dibbs on 'A Fountain of Blood' as a band name!

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Sunday 27 February 2011 14:00

10 - How much weight did you lose after you shat your asshole out?

devilcb 5

Monday 28 February 2011 13:37

that's why you don't snort ramen

OtakuKev 7

Monday 25 November 2013 10:08

Oh please, it wasn't the noodles that gave him the nose bleed, he just happened to see something perverted whilst eating those noodles xD

piiing 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:12

take pics, bloody pics are hot.

Jammy01jams 2

Sunday 27 February 2011 5:21

uuhh WTF is wrong with you?

Taz_the_Spaz 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 7:35

No, what is wrong with you?!? Everyone gets turnee on by bloody pics.

milakitty21 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 8:26

actually I'm more turned on by your icon picture.

ComTlancy 12

Sunday 27 February 2011 13:20

are you referencing that FML about the guy what had a blood nose, dripped his blood onto a knife, took photos of it and now has to see the school shrink? if yes, nicely done.

you_failed 15

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:13

Oooh that sounds lovely! :) Just kidding but that's not good. :| FYL OP.

drzhottie148 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:13

Trying to add a diffrent taste to it huh

rlet 1

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:21

thats crazy what did u do with the bowl?? eat the noodles or hit your nose with it lol

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:24

that's revolting...

sarabraun8 7

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:42

gotta get that checked out

FMLPanda89 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 6:33

what if it's a STD. :O

creamcheese724 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 7:49

he has herpes..herpes hates hot food

randomaccess745 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 7:52

tell that to science! maybe the cure for herpes is jalepeños. you should test this by pouring hot sauce on your genitals.

Suchagoonnn 4

Sunday 27 February 2011 9:40

that would feel... warm. hot sauce doesnt burn your **** dude

odexy 12

Sunday 27 February 2011 2:46

Your life is ****** because you got a nose bleed? Sure.

afdude87 6

Sunday 27 February 2011 5:00

I was thinkin the same thing..

Keywords

Work Animals Scary Geek Coffee Awkward Fire Break-ups Love Cheating Scams Sex Intimacy Health Alcohol Relatable Family AITA Wake up Miscellaneous Dentist Dad jokes Annoying Customers Food Kids Nepotism Ableism Vacation Transportation

The Top

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 716

You deserved it 3 604

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 964

The Top

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 300

You deserved it 40 499

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 116

You deserved it 7 194

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 777

You deserved it 3 081

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 178

You deserved it 3 160

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 198

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 358

You deserved it 4 814