Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
Steffi3 40
Never call someones bluff if you're not prepared to deal with the consequences
RMP15 8
Whoa, hope you're ok OP
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Comments (74)
Wolfipoo 31
That sucks OP, hope your not in too much pain.
JKPwnage 27
Quote from man stabbed: "What're you gonna do, stab me?"
blackonblight 33
Ah, you saw that headline too?
drp513 3
Well you're alive so that's good
Snowble11 13
You aren't the US ambassador to South Korea, are you?
rhysfucker 24
Three words: concealed carry permit.
TheGatekeeper43 8
Why did he want to stab you? You don't get stabbed for no reason
EmoKami 21
I bet he got his point across.
brandonthed 2
And that's why you should always carry a gun.
CoolCookie210 22
Hope you weren't hurt too badly! That's awfully scary. Were you in your own neighborhood? Are you okay? Where did he stab you?
ally8 21
So you got stabbed in the back?!