Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Today, I asked a girl from class out. Not only did she say, "Ew, no way, never, creepo!", but four hours later her boyfriend, who I didn't know about, threatened me with a gun if I ever even looked at his girl again. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML
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Top comments
coming back in the future 30
I bet he's determined to give your girlfriend 'the finger' too.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, at least he gave you fair warning. That's more than most of us get.
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Comments (62)
Berber260 14
I would have slapped the shit out of him.
EarlFug 19
Answer: "Perfect! She asked me to grab some tampons and ice cream. Could you do that? I'll be at the pub"
barlos88 19
While I'm not normally one to suggest violence, I think in this case a swift kick in the nuts would have been an appropriate response.
thepeanutoftime 8
Well that escalated quickly...
tassie 3
Haha this is awesome
Summoner_T3L 15
He wouldn't have done that to you if he knew about you Mystogan. Blast him with your staves, OP.
MystoganFT 18
hah! good to see some of you picked up on my name. but for real, my girlfriend actually knew who it was and pulled a prank on me..making me glad I didn't do anything too hastily :)
Queen_of_Night 20
Mystogan (FairyTale) Awesome!
lowerdanny 2
Oh damn that was you? I swear I didn't mean to say it to a stranger... I thought you were the one who was sleeping with my gf...
kohcoldnut 6
I guess he just wanted a handshake with your right hand. ;)
braysdada24 4
Just say "well that's fine sir because I already ****** your mom". No come back from that