Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Today, I asked a girl from class out. Not only did she say, "Ew, no way, never, creepo!", but four hours later her boyfriend, who I didn't know about, threatened me with a gun if I ever even looked at his girl again. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML
Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML
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Top comments
coming back in the future 30
I bet he's determined to give your girlfriend 'the finger' too.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Well, at least he gave you fair warning. That's more than most of us get.
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Comments (62)
Tarlachia 33
I get the mental image that this is Biff talking to Marty McFly's dad.
buckdharma 38
And this has become his life's ambition. Years from now the three of you are in the same old folks home, and his shipment of mail order viagra has arrived. The plot thickens.
citrusglass 22
I have no idea why this was downvoted.
shanson 22
With that much viagra the plot won't be the only thing thickening
dman798 18
You might have never seen him but he's seen your girlfriend
tranced_ 45
And you stood still and didn't break his finger ?
Mathalamus 25
Break his finger for doing... What? Frankly, I'd go with the less violent meathod of ignoring the little shit.
writerchic85 26
He probably doesn't even know your girlfriend and was just some weirdo trying to freak you out.
twilight2002 17
he already did sorry...hey it's the truth...he should know lol
BawlmerHon24 17
And you let that shit happen? Hope they're happy together!
interesting33 37
So he's a stalker? Potential rapist? How is he planning to get her to sleep wiht him? Or does he not care what she wants? Worrying
vikky538 29
You better start being a watchman
deathstar3548 14
MystoganFT? like from Fairy Tail?
avatar0810 15
Glad I'm not the only one that noticed that.
SecundusSecunda 27
Yes