Anonymous
Palmdale, United States
Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
shartface12
San Jose, United States
Hair of the dog
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
tryandtryagain
United Kingdom
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Anonymous
Philippines
Nice try
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Anonymous
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Anonymous
Lightweight
Today, I have a hangover. From one small glass of pink Cava. FML
gingerbread
Yerevan, Armenia
Geyser
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wine about it
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
scheisse
Herne, Germany
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Thefaller
Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML
rookiemistake
San Francisco, United States
The mouthfeel
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
Top comments
beddington 7
Time for AA.
perdix 31
Did you belt out a big "Woo-hoo!" afterwards?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
darwinism 30
Well, in your defence, there would have been a line of people behind you waiting for the same slighly fermented grape juice. If you are alone next time ask the priest to bring out the crackers and cheese along with the wine and sit down for a nice chat on Darwins theory of evolution. Cheers
flyersfan345 5
The Catholic Church believes in Theistic Evolution, so they're would be no fight ovrr evolution.
iAlissa 34
#12, this is one of the FEW meaningful, thumbed up comments on this FML. I applaud you.
Ciraxas 7
22-no, the catholic church does NOT believe in any form of evolution
Shrike 24
Actually 84, you're wrong. John Paul II and Benedict XVI, the last and current Popes respectively, both stated that evolution is compatible with Catholicism. That's not exactly breaking news, and it doesn't take much effort to look it up.
cristy91 33
86, the current pope is Pope Frances. Pope Benedict stepped down from the position earlier this year. I know a bunch of people aren't interested in the Catholic Church, but this Pope is quite progressive, well, progressive for a Pope, and some of you may find him quite interesting. Not trying to sway anybody anywhere, just saying that a change is happening in Catholicism.
Shrike 24
Whoops. Yeah, you're right about Francis being the current Pope. A bit too recent I guess. My bad.
michelleJ11 25
I bet that turned out well, eh OP?
M3DIC4T3 29
You sound like a real winner.
LithFlavored 10
There's a time an place for everything op
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Uhoh, the grassroots of religious debate. Please stop, I get enough of this on both sides at uni.
bobthemarley 6
The drop out of arts and study something useful
angeluv_2014 22
What does OP's partying reference have to do with religious debate?
fireysaje 10
Nothing, but the debates are already starting
fireysaje 10
Also if you don't want the debates... Why are you in the comment section?
UnluckyGenius 21
It would have been humorous if OP started acting drunk and rubbing up on those silly hats.
NatalySNA 21
What hats?? Because last time I checked..my Catholic priest does not wear a "silly hat." Or a hat at all in this case.
UnluckyGenius 21
Sorry the few times I have been in a catholic church they wore hats.
TxCountryBeauty 10
Are you sure you aren't talking about a Jewish church?
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Did you go to church with the pope? wtf?
UnluckyGenius 21
I was there for my cousins confirmation, I think it is called. Then the last time I was in a catholic service they had a spanish cardinal or whatever the title is my mom recognized as like the head honcho for the Catholic churches near where we live.
lashes_to_ashes 14
For Confirmation, usually the Arch Bishop is the one who does the service. He wears hats. (:
ozpunker 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Out of after hours church reflex, I sucked an old man's dick at a party.
Dave_Davington 35
Priests would kill to have alter boys like you.
magicman37 8
Well of life is anything like the movies, the entire church started singing soul
Axipiter 24
It's not.
starile 20
This was likely Catholic Church, not Southern Baptist. And Jesus rocks out to Gospel Music. Please.
angelitared 27
Haha love it!!