By Anonymous Lightweight Today, I have a hangover. From one small glass of pink Cava. FML I agree, your life sucks 1012 You deserved it 387 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Fetish Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML I agree, your life sucks 2376 You deserved it 251 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rosie Today, I discovered that you can vomit hard enough to break a rib and tear a ligament. Why was I barfing so violently? The stray cat I'm feeding has given me worms. I found one during "down there cleanup" time. I got laughed at by EMS, nurses, doctors, and my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 2518 You deserved it 514 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wolf145 - United States - San Francisco Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML I agree, your life sucks 24784 You deserved it 2206 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sigh - Australia - Rockdale Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 29663 You deserved it 3218 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By etahrabayraa - 27/6/2020 08:08 Instadrama Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML I agree, your life sucks 617 You deserved it 1424 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML I agree, your life sucks 28814 You deserved it 5732 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML I agree, your life sucks 20648 You deserved it 64528 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Liz - United States Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML I agree, your life sucks 57835 You deserved it 19125 315 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gremlin - United Kingdom - Staines Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML I agree, your life sucks 22821 You deserved it 3988 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML I agree, your life sucks 19566 You deserved it 30137 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuckthepopo - United States Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML I agree, your life sucks 29750 You deserved it 6442 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bitchonia - Canada Sign your name across my…? Today, I asked my boyfriend what he'd think of me getting his initials tattooed over my heart. "That's awesome, babe," he answered enthusiastically. "But could you get them on your ass instead?" FML I agree, your life sucks 702 You deserved it 1470 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By waterspike - France Today, after finally getting a date with the girl I like, she invited her new boyfriend along as well. I ended up paying for their first date. FML I agree, your life sucks 32711 You deserved it 9921 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sushi hater - United States Today, I went out for some very expensive sushi. Two hours later, I found myself on the toilet, violently voiding my bowels. I essentially paid to have liquid orange shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 31423 You deserved it 7483 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Faluna - Sweden Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 40142 You deserved it 4189 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By redriver - United States Today, exactly 28 days after I started my last period, I started a new period. This would be perfectly healthy and normal except that my last period was 24 days long. This has happened every month this year. FML I agree, your life sucks 4420 You deserved it 290 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stew - United States Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML I agree, your life sucks 48965 You deserved it 3845 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boss threw a party for everyone in the office who has a birthday in September. Everyone got a cake with their names on it except me. My birthday is today. FML I agree, your life sucks 16002 You deserved it 825 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LP - United States Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 40867 You deserved it 7556 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Henderson Today, I decided to take a relaxing shower. My face mask made my face break out in hives. While exfoliating, my nipples became chafed. Then I slipped and cut myself while shaving. FML I agree, your life sucks 2615 You deserved it 326 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whenlifeisalemon - United States - San Francisco Today, I waited patiently in the airport as my flight was repeatedly delayed. After 5 long hours I approached one of the attendees to discover that the plane had left 5 minutes ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 24406 You deserved it 3468 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By marriedbutlonely - United States - Federal Way Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML I agree, your life sucks 23912 You deserved it 3119 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bliggins - Canada - Winnipeg Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML I agree, your life sucks 44874 You deserved it 2942 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RowanBlossom - 7/7/2020 05:01 The lifescript Today, I found out that my mother doesn’t visit me because I'm the only sibling without children. She posts all about her wonderful children on social media, but I'm left out. She hasn't set foot in my house since I moved out of hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1588 You deserved it 106 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By swana99 - United States - Woburn Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML I agree, your life sucks 39279 You deserved it 3091 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 36052 You deserved it 4902 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drunkenloser - United States Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML I agree, your life sucks 23119 You deserved it 38406 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AgentRarity Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML I agree, your life sucks 50628 You deserved it 7819 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nyx - United States - San Francisco Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML I agree, your life sucks 41457 You deserved it 3666 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fallen - United States - Merion Station Today, I came into work feeling good about myself and my upcoming plans. I left before noon with a box of my belongings and uncertainty about my future, having been suddenly laid off. FML I agree, your life sucks 4856 You deserved it 279 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Edinburgh Nice family you've got there Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML I agree, your life sucks 37691 You deserved it 2630 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Badday Today, I received a call from a company attempting to steal me away. Flattered, I told them I liked my job and the answer was no. When I told my boss, he said they're thinking about laying me off and I should've taken the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 4406 You deserved it 371 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stacy - United States Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML I agree, your life sucks 36894 You deserved it 8416 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML I agree, your life sucks 24468 You deserved it 4553 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Overprotected - United States Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML I agree, your life sucks 61405 You deserved it 4626 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rainbows? more like shitstorms - United States Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML I agree, your life sucks 26667 You deserved it 2039 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Hobart Today, my boyfriend dumped me by getting his mum to message me on Facebook. I got the message while I was packing for an overseas trip to visit him. FML I agree, your life sucks 10793 You deserved it 665 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tried to help Stranger Danger! Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 1860 You deserved it 520 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By happybirthday - United States - Wrentham Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML I agree, your life sucks 52334 You deserved it 3444 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, the family member who molested me for several years as a kid, works as a social worker in the same building where I’m treated for the unresolved... I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 6 3 Comments
Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 You deserved it 330 6 Comments
