By Anonymous - 13/5/2020 14:00 Lightweight Today, I have a hangover. From one small glass of pink Cava. FML I agree, your life sucks 996 You deserved it 379 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scared - 28/8/2020 05:03 Meet the parents Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Remember the show Honey Boo Boo? They seem sophisticated compared to the family of weirdoes I got to meet. It's almost got me reconsidering my planned proposal. FML I agree, your life sucks 1270 You deserved it 211 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jason the flasher Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML I agree, your life sucks 1316 You deserved it 2927 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States AKA the Oskar Deutsch look Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML I agree, your life sucks 13646 You deserved it 76577 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crochocinco85 - United States - Brooklyn Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 42597 You deserved it 6415 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML I agree, your life sucks 37090 You deserved it 2552 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohhotdamn - United States Today, for my mom's 50th birthday all she wanted was this gold bracelet. It was too much money for me to buy so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, my older sister gave her the gold bracelet which made her cry. When I gave her my present she just said "oh." FML I agree, your life sucks 70646 You deserved it 5704 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blah - United States Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML I agree, your life sucks 32055 You deserved it 10375 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnicornPancake Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML I agree, your life sucks 3411 You deserved it 406 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foreverathome - United States Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML I agree, your life sucks 35807 You deserved it 2560 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Union Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML I agree, your life sucks 47267 You deserved it 8067 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Portland Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML I agree, your life sucks 24694 You deserved it 2173 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SADlilAZN - United States Today, I made a couple videos of me playing guitar and singing some of my favorite songs. I arrived back from school to find my family huddled around the cam-corder laughing, imitating, and making jokes about the video. FML I agree, your life sucks 35722 You deserved it 8594 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sillyrabbit - United States Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said "hey" when he was next to me. He said, "the pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML I agree, your life sucks 8351 You deserved it 46310 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cuntsmom - United States Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML I agree, your life sucks 44439 You deserved it 3436 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scared shitless in ohio - United States - Dublin Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML I agree, your life sucks 43718 You deserved it 5506 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/6/2020 02:02 Helping hand Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML I agree, your life sucks 1394 You deserved it 258 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML I agree, your life sucks 9712 You deserved it 38665 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By an egg - United States - Livonia Today, when I went out to get some groceries with my mother, a small girl came up to me and said I was an "ugly egg" because I'm a bald girl. I had to shave my head in order to have brain surgery to relieve me of the symptoms of my neurological disorder. FML I agree, your life sucks 31440 You deserved it 1617 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML I agree, your life sucks 26298 You deserved it 1952 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lonesomegal - United States - Los Angeles Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML I agree, your life sucks 33291 You deserved it 2563 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AquaKelly - United States - Newark Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML I agree, your life sucks 30740 You deserved it 4729 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thickly - United States - Fayetteville Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself since they last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML I agree, your life sucks 10495 You deserved it 1870 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Puppylove - United Kingdom Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML I agree, your life sucks 30826 You deserved it 10237 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Sydney The customer is always an ass Today, I was yelled at by a customer, who was upset over having waited twenty minutes for a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable, if she was sitting in an actual restaurant, and not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML I agree, your life sucks 27279 You deserved it 1609 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kathrynn - United States Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML I agree, your life sucks 78591 You deserved it 5274 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML I agree, your life sucks 36832 You deserved it 3102 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend informed me I need to stop staying up all night, because it's "really sketchy" and he feels "uncomfortable" not knowing what I'm doing, and why I'm awake. I'm an insomniac, I have been my whole life, and he knows this. FML I agree, your life sucks 1776 You deserved it 141 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML I agree, your life sucks 40520 You deserved it 3071 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazyclumzy - Canada Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML I agree, your life sucks 32997 You deserved it 2746 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ugh Today, at my work in a self-service chinese restaurant, a lady came up to me, pointed to the plate she loaded with honey king prawns, and yelled at me because she was allergic to seafood. She demanded a refund and another plate. Everything is clearly labeled. FML I agree, your life sucks 9085 You deserved it 514 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By catcraze - United States - Denver Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML I agree, your life sucks 42817 You deserved it 6708 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pinkrazorsare4men Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML I agree, your life sucks 9789 You deserved it 859 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yayaimannoying - United States Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML I agree, your life sucks 28506 You deserved it 5072 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By studentdriver828 - United States Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 28374 You deserved it 104298 353 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML I agree, your life sucks 41164 You deserved it 2790 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Paris101 - United States - Saint Charles Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML I agree, your life sucks 38255 You deserved it 3863 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Embarassed - United States Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML I agree, your life sucks 40177 You deserved it 3006 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By _aPerson_ - Canada - Airdrie Today, I lost the key to my bike lock. I ended up having to cut it off, even though it was brand new. After spending 30 minutes hacking away at it, it finally came off. When I hopped onto my bike, I felt something poking my leg. My key was in my pocket the whole time. FML I agree, your life sucks 8804 You deserved it 20675 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whooops - United States Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 14437 You deserved it 57637 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Arlbethere - United Kingdom Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML I agree, your life sucks 29239 You deserved it 8612 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 140 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 179 4 Comments
