Miscellaneous: Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt... - FML

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 509

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Same thing different taste

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 401

You deserved it 54 542

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 20:53 - United States

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 430

You deserved it 61 477

By Cass - 29/03/2012 02:03 - Australia

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 810

You deserved it 28 750

By Employee - 07/08/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 426

You deserved it 12 606

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 289

You deserved it 7 200

By Quin - 31/05/2019 14:00

Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 2 035

Spotted it

By dollabill009 - 06/06/2013 08:49 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 283

You deserved it 8 556

By XavierLing - 23/07/2019 06:00

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 758

By cdubb27 - 11/10/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 081

You deserved it 9 011

Creeped out

By gymgirl - 17/12/2013 23:48 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 372

You deserved it 3 840

Next

Top comments

Sunako_fml 9

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

That's just disgusting..

Welshite 39

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

What a disgusting habit. You deserve the contempt of your peers.

Comments

Desijatt00 7

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:12

Bahahahahaha!!! :')

SirFawkes 16

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:24

Well, there goes the hygiene you DON'T have, and with the username you have... Good luck you slob

mongoose313 2

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:28

Natural. Reguardless of what these scrubs say, we all have done it and at sone point thought about it. Everyone who says otherwise is in denial and just trying to look cool to online people they will never meet.

zandalee 19

Thursday 9 August 2012 2:25

I totally agree with you! Seems people are so ******* uptight about little things like this, and yet don't care about important life changing things...

zack11742 7

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:52

Why is that you're habit?

183933 6

Thursday 9 August 2012 0:53

You should have looked back at them and said "what - you don't smell your own balls just after you have a threesome?"

183933 6

Friday 10 August 2012 0:34

Oh please... Whoever gave me a thumbs down for that one... Grow a pear! Lol

DeSoRoWx 3

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:02

Watch Blue Mountain State, theres a guy on there that does that!

skokob 7

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:16

Scratch and sniff, fruit smell?

hailezz349 5

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:36

You sound like you dont have many friends.. Well now you probbly wont hav any friends, sucks to suck or in your case sniff?

SoultheWolf 19

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:39

You don't have a girlfriend do you?

Leslier_fml 4

Thursday 9 August 2012 1:44

Ha ha ha ydi nobody wants to see that ever! anybody that shakes hand with you should be aware!

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The Top

Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 43

Today, after my daughter had a cast on her broken leg for 14 weeks, she got it removed this morning. She was bawling her eyes out because she never realised her leg hair would keep growing under the plaster; 14 weeks worth of growth. She didn’t cry this much back when she broke the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I did the walk of shame at work after walking in 20 minutes late with a venti iced coffee in my hand for the umpteenth time, my boss then told me to pack up all my things and get out so I could have all the time in the world to get iced coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 4 085

Today, I'm into a three week battle with the United States medical system regarding my mom. I've even moved friends onto our farm because I'm a traveling electrician. Yup, they took a pissed off email a little too serious. I'm on charges of fraud and I need to leave on friday to keep the family farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 622

Today, after installing a clapper in our bedroom, my wife and I had some rough sex and the lights went on and off. That's how we found out about her seizures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 272

You deserved it 543

Today, I'm a car salesman. I got told to cold call a list of previous customers, but I recognised the names as I phoned them all last week; I told the manager this. He slammed his fist on my desk and told me to stop lying and do as I was told. I got told to "fuck off" 27 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 646

You deserved it 1 364

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 490

You deserved it 13 203

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 307

You deserved it 4 248