Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
you say tipsy he saw stinking drunk.
Quest_ 13
Stop sexually harassing innocent strangers on public transport and this won't happen anymore.
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Comments (109)
schwancy 2
He's playing hard to get.
mite_fml 0
im sure you play hard to get all the time.
tweetypie 18
And she's playing hard to want.
Juneyah1017 9
and it was all a dream.
TheTerenity 9
Are You sure it isn't Just a dream like Nelly had? JK JK XD
catkat1988 17
I'm not sure what you did, but unless you were either extremely drunk or did something that qualified as sexual harassment (which simply sitting down and saying "hello" don't), he had absolutely no right to be that rude. I don't know why some people seem to take pride in snappy comebacks or rejections that are in no way justified by what was said, done or meant in the first place. I'm not at all suggesting the guy was obliged to indulge in the flirt, but if he wasn't interested, there are more polite ways to reject a conversation - such as simply moving a few seats away, pulling out a newspaper or a cellphone, etc.
ComMed1 0
bitter much?
ImaginaryFoe 1
How is politely asking if she would change her seat more rude than getting up, moving away, and studiously ignoring someone? You have a deranged idea of social customs if you think that would've been polite. And how is that a snappy comeback? If a person smelling like alcohol sits next to me and attempts to initiate a conversation, I'd do the same thing. He doesn't owe her his conversation and he was damn civil when he needn't have been.
funzcpl 0
totally agree imaginary foe! I don't want to sit and talk to some stinky drunk person either.
marcranger 29
14, the guy actually handled it just right. some people don't get that you would rather have dental surgery without frolics than talk to them, even if you're on the phone while reading a book. this was the best thing the guy could have done short of punching op in the face...and if op had been a guy, she would still have been too dense to get it.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Exactly, oc. Had she been the sober passenger, there would be many "Kick him in the nuts!" or "Eww, what a creeper" comments. He was totally justified and reacted appropriately.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#60 Oh, I still think that the man should have kicked OP in her metaphorical nuts. I.e., I'm glad that he told her to back off.
kianabanannna 21
I don't quite understand why op should be kicked in her "metaphorical balls." From the information we were given, all op did was say hello, and if op was only tipsy it's not like she was all over him. let's give op a break
ladybuuggy 0
Did you write this when you were "tipsy" as well? This could have been said WAY differently without as many pauses in a run-on sentence.
ktbird 0
No one cares.
DocBastard 40
Apparently the buuggy cares. Why would you invalidate someone's feelings like that? Do you have something against people who have something against run-on sentences? Have you been hurt by a run-on sentence in the past?
biass 0
A couple of run-on sentences killed my parents when I was 5. It was in a drunken car crash and they drove away and just left. I know it was an accident, but I still can't forgive them...
DocBastard 40
See! See! Killa hates run-ons, and rightfully so! They are EVIL!
HomeAl0ne 20
... and don't forget drive-by sentences either ....
smiley_ily 0
at least he stopped you before you went farther? maybe he's already taken or he's being a good boy and not talking to strangers ;)
Jimboom 12
Possibly you either stank of booze and/or peed/pooped yourself as you were a little more than tipsy. Either that or your just not his type and/or fugly. But whatever way it went down don't worry, your life is not ******. Not everybody who you think is cute is going to think the same about you. Everybody who dates will get rejected at least once... usually more.
sinnedrebel 0
is this a FML or a late night drunk text? please post your picture of people of Walmart.com
sinnedrebel 0
moderated? WTH moderate this $&@" #%€¥£|. @$$&&#%*¥
sinnedrebel 0
moderated again? booger eater.
funzcpl 0
not every body likes drunk bitches.
Illyssa_fml 4
Well, he didn't want to talk to the crazy drunk chick on the subway? haha
hcovballer247 0
You most likely deserved that one..