Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML
Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML
Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
robc32ca 4
you say tipsy he saw stinking drunk.
Quest_ 13
Stop sexually harassing innocent strangers on public transport and this won't happen anymore.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
sceptic 1
Yessss tipsy **** gets rejected! :-D
shannon2348 14
Creeper. ydi
shannon2348 14
You sound obnoxious as hell. ydi