Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggested she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill herself because of her severe medical condition." FML
Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
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Top comments
nerdyninjarobot 5
Holy shit that bitch needs to be fired. That is so out of line!
SolarLunix 21
Super unprofessional. Report her!
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Comments (233)
pinkiepi 4
Report her! That's grounds to fire her!!!!!
idontknowleo 10
Wtf dude , that's so ****** up . She shouldn't be a nurse
disaster8829 9
tell her you hoped she'd die or something. rude bitch
cappellaaa 23
Report that heartless bitch! I hope you have a perfectly healthy baby!
racejunkie 4
Complain and get that bitch fired!
Manic1 13
That nurse needs to go! If she was in the room with your wife I would have thrown her ass out and told her supervisor why. No way I would want her anywhere near my family after that comment.
samlovesham1234 9
What the hell kind of comment was that?!
ZoroMiHawk 25
Damn...Idk I think that's where I'd punch a woman for the first time ever.
maggiefox 25
On a happier note, I hope your baby is healthy and happy :) Should've told her you hope she gets lung cancer. Don't worry, she'll get hers one day.
Hop6e 22
What the **** is wrong with that bitch?? Report her!! Did you report her? Omfg! I am SO sorry! That is NOT something you should of had to hear or have had say about your baby. I hope other then that the birth went as planned, congrats on your baby.