By notfatanymore - Germany Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 38259 You deserved it 4070 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hcditfi5foygy Today, I learned that my new neighbour's car alarm goes off every time a car drives by blasting loud bass. So far, it's gone off 6 times in the last hour. I can't wait until he's done moving in here, where he and his car will stay for the next year. FML I agree, your life sucks 2349 You deserved it 127 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Courtenay Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 21567 You deserved it 44327 264 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ktin - Australia Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML I agree, your life sucks 39348 You deserved it 4853 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hyattsville Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML I agree, your life sucks 48142 You deserved it 3740 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By doubleCoupon - United States - San Francisco Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 45443 You deserved it 5545 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WetWetWet - India Today, I returned to work after a restful week-long holiday. Before I left, I'd finished a huge assignment which is due this week. I walk in to find a water pipe has burst just above my desk, flooding our office with water and ruining my computer. Happy New Year to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 27902 You deserved it 2593 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flyakite - United States Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML I agree, your life sucks 46017 You deserved it 6576 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML I agree, your life sucks 61037 You deserved it 3437 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hopeless - United States - Annandale On Hudson Today, I confessed my feelings to the only man I've ever loved. He asked me for dating advice. FML I agree, your life sucks 10285 You deserved it 792 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By My Daughter Fails at Life - United States - San Francisco Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 23769 You deserved it 2562 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By M95 - Norway Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML I agree, your life sucks 35673 You deserved it 4836 251 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By msjustine - United States Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 38867 You deserved it 13332 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Takuma - United States Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML I agree, your life sucks 21521 You deserved it 94892 298 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rkl2010 - United States Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 28395 You deserved it 3439 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mikey51 - Australia Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML I agree, your life sucks 10582 You deserved it 41439 181 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/4/2020 14:00 Nice neighborhood Today, after my ex broke up with me, I threw out all the clothes he’d bought me before, which was basically my entire wardrobe. Anyway, this creepy guy who lives a few blocks away seems to be wearing my old clothes and waves my bras and panties at me. It’s gross and creepy. FML I agree, your life sucks 1617 You deserved it 1145 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meh - United Kingdom Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML I agree, your life sucks 29982 You deserved it 6497 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML I agree, your life sucks 4220 You deserved it 602 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nate - 21/12/2020 11:02 Born to run Today, I can’t divorce my lazy, unemployed, shopping-addicted, cheating wife because her father is one of the best, sleaziest, underhanded divorce lawyers in our city. FML I agree, your life sucks 1048 You deserved it 150 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chrissy - United States Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 31118 You deserved it 3014 227 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poop - United States Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 36778 You deserved it 4721 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RebekahBrooke - United States Today, I started my first day as a waitress. After getting my ass slapped, drinks and food spilled over me, and being tripped by a bratty kid, my tips were stolen. FML I agree, your life sucks 39055 You deserved it 2628 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillshakinggd - United States Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML I agree, your life sucks 23361 You deserved it 2703 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tina - Canada Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend that told me he was taking a family vacation to Mexico. FML I agree, your life sucks 41073 You deserved it 4087 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By never ending story - United States Today, it doesn’t matter that I had major surgery on my hand 2 days ago and am supposed to be on bed rest with no hand movement for 3 weeks. According to my father and my husband, it doesn’t excuse me from wifely house duties and being the sole caretaker of our one-year-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 5493 You deserved it 541 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML I agree, your life sucks 39443 You deserved it 3814 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband and I have been trying to buy a house and start a family together. Now I find out that he just spent $5000 on comic books. FML I agree, your life sucks 33189 You deserved it 4475 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - 27/8/2020 23:02 - Canada Love hurts Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML I agree, your life sucks 2360 You deserved it 114 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By izzy46111 - United States - Scottsdale Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML I agree, your life sucks 38853 You deserved it 5126 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Estonia Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML I agree, your life sucks 39445 You deserved it 10389 274 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cupcakes - Australia - Queanbeyan Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML I agree, your life sucks 27540 You deserved it 53329 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By badplannning - United States - Naperville Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML I agree, your life sucks 24294 You deserved it 2197 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stelno - United States Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML I agree, your life sucks 9638 You deserved it 64437 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shavaughn Riley - 31/10/2020 23:03 - New Zealand - Kawerau Being a parent 101 Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML I agree, your life sucks 855 You deserved it 216 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By singlesummer - United States - Compton Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML I agree, your life sucks 41877 You deserved it 2562 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 21567 You deserved it 9060 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jeff Today, I found out that women have another hole that they pee out of. I'm 37. FML I agree, your life sucks 657 You deserved it 2765 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FlorenceD - United States - Dallas Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML I agree, your life sucks 19400 You deserved it 10792 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bellaskyeb - United States Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML I agree, your life sucks 32184 You deserved it 4222 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 710 You deserved it 48 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 883 You deserved it 309 6 Comments
