By lashless - 22/5/2010 20:32 - United States Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML I agree, your life sucks 35025 You deserved it 7575 247 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AmatureLitCritic - 14/5/2012 07:37 - United States - Portland Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML I agree, your life sucks 25151 You deserved it 2346 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By severedface - 22/5/2011 05:35 - Canada Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41218 You deserved it 5335 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/2/2014 16:31 - United States Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 28059 You deserved it 46456 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By weneedthatmoneytoliveon - 26/6/2013 14:08 - Australia - Melbourne Today, I overheard my mother Skyping with her new "boyfriend" about the $1,000 she just sent him. She barely knew what internet dating was three weeks ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 48045 You deserved it 3606 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fired - 4/11/2011 04:04 - Australia Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML I agree, your life sucks 33779 You deserved it 2654 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LadyJane - 4/1/2009 10:15 - France Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML I agree, your life sucks 10155 You deserved it 27082 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By inyobeddd - 2/5/2013 08:27 - United States - Los Angeles Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 49766 You deserved it 6684 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AvocadoPurse - 31/12/2019 16:00 Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML I agree, your life sucks 2652 You deserved it 261 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mrmz07 - 1/5/2016 09:32 - United States - Midland Today, I was called in to work on my day off to cover for a co-worker because she was busy getting it on with my brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 14424 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1551 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pissedandcomputerless - 7/11/2013 18:42 - United States - Lawrence Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML I agree, your life sucks 44934 You deserved it 8647 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/5/2009 17:44 - United States Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML I agree, your life sucks 39907 You deserved it 25824 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - 2/8/2011 02:46 - United States Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML I agree, your life sucks 38353 You deserved it 3236 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Humiliated & Heart-Broken - 30/7/2014 04:41 - United States - Fort Worth Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 44538 You deserved it 5139 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kimboslice106 - 8/6/2011 05:21 - United States Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML I agree, your life sucks 50047 You deserved it 14101 283 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/11/2015 15:51 - Netherlands - Sevenum Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML I agree, your life sucks 31042 You deserved it 2192 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/1/2010 22:27 - United States Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML I agree, your life sucks 28035 You deserved it 6456 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/4/2016 23:46 - United States - Cary Today, I'd like to thank the genius who scheduled my class in a building which is actively being torn down. FML I agree, your life sucks 20499 You deserved it 1215 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By France Howell - 10/5/2018 15:00 Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML I agree, your life sucks 4708 You deserved it 333 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 12:01 - United States The straights are at it again Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1861 You deserved it 276 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/4/2020 23:00 Go back to bed, Brad Today, I noticed that when my boyfriend is sick, his sex drive goes through the roof. Too bad his stamina plummets. FML I agree, your life sucks 1527 You deserved it 168 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sandra - 18/2/2009 14:15 - Ireland Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML I agree, your life sucks 47591 You deserved it 20334 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By izziegrl - 24/9/2012 18:21 - Mexico - Naucalpan Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML I agree, your life sucks 28312 You deserved it 3604 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nile - 8/12/2015 17:21 - Netherlands - Amsterdam Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML I agree, your life sucks 30745 You deserved it 2813 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh I had an itch..." FML I agree, your life sucks 19961 You deserved it 35237 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML I agree, your life sucks 20530 You deserved it 33004 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/4/2013 16:24 - United States Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML I agree, your life sucks 52811 You deserved it 7424 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/8/2015 14:03 - United States - Charlotte Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML I agree, your life sucks 24586 You deserved it 2714 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By h - 20/12/2018 00:00 Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML I agree, your life sucks 2760 You deserved it 547 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By newguy - 29/8/2009 21:02 - United States Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 43967 You deserved it 4770 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tryingatkins - 21/8/2009 09:27 - United States Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML I agree, your life sucks 40045 You deserved it 7295 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/1/2012 00:26 - United States Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML I agree, your life sucks 38890 You deserved it 4685 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/6/2020 02:03 Jaws 2: A Pig in the City Today, after a childhood of battling bad teeth and cavities, I'm an overzealous brusher. I found out that I have cavities in all quadrants of my mouth from over-brushing, which will need multiple appointments to fill. FML I agree, your life sucks 1337 You deserved it 199 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/9/2010 22:47 - United States Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML I agree, your life sucks 39154 You deserved it 6542 403 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toobad - 2/6/2009 05:41 - United States Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML I agree, your life sucks 58828 You deserved it 6692 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pandy1031 - 9/2/2017 08:00 - United States - Crofton Today, as I was shampooing my hair in the shower, the power went out. Since my house has well water, no power means no water. FML I agree, your life sucks 6174 You deserved it 380 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By annonn - 24/3/2016 11:11 - Brunei Darussalam - Bandar Seri Begawan Today, I found out that people know when you're screenshooting their snaps on Snapchat, by the guy I have a crush on, asking me why I keep doing it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17064 You deserved it 17919 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chumpslolo - 25/7/2013 10:55 - United States - Vandalia Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML I agree, your life sucks 55457 You deserved it 3961 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kelli - 8/4/2020 02:00 That slaps! Today, the whole time my husband and I had sex, my stomach flab violently slapped my thighs. The harder he pumped, the louder the slapping got. Time to lose some weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 1313 You deserved it 887 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 3/8/2017 20:00 Today, my 2 year old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (it took me 2 seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 4607 You deserved it 1029 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my... I agree, your life sucks 924 You deserved it 178 6 Comments
Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less... I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 205 6 Comments
