By Ashleigh - 2/3/2012 22:53 - Australia Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML I agree, your life sucks 12868 You deserved it 32866 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00 Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML I agree, your life sucks 3057 You deserved it 339 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MikeyPeters - 13/3/2009 04:26 - United States Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML I agree, your life sucks 13377 You deserved it 57305 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Muwz - 13/8/2014 04:28 - France - Paris Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML I agree, your life sucks 44387 You deserved it 9732 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pugsley - 30/8/2019 14:02 - Australia Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1950 You deserved it 302 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Squeak - 6/2/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg Poor Despereaux Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML I agree, your life sucks 6366 You deserved it 751 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lisa - 9/11/2018 07:00 - United States - Sedalia Today, I developed a roll of film I'd had sitting around for years. It was all images my ex had taken of him scrubbing his ass and toilet with my electric toothbrush, which I'd used for at least a month after our breakup. FML I agree, your life sucks 3004 You deserved it 303 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/1/2011 17:38 - United States Today, for the first time ever, my boyfriend of one year told me he loved me. He was calling me by collect call from the county jail. FML I agree, your life sucks 31449 You deserved it 6145 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By keepmouthshut - 12/10/2009 02:20 - United States Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 37870 You deserved it 12766 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By patrick - 17/3/2010 16:15 - United States Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML I agree, your life sucks 25911 You deserved it 5210 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fucked - 14/3/2014 19:40 - Canada Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML I agree, your life sucks 40495 You deserved it 3739 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/6/2011 20:42 - United States Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML I agree, your life sucks 20124 You deserved it 34461 336 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnnoyedandAutistic - 1/6/2017 02:00 Today, my boyfriend and I were eating breakfast at my strict Christian grandparent's house when he said that it was impossible for anyone bigger than a grapefruit to be swallowed by a whale. My grandmother asked him, "What about Jonah?" to which he replied "Oh, that's just a myth." FML I agree, your life sucks 2748 You deserved it 501 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheThirdWheel - 23/4/2018 05:00 Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML I agree, your life sucks 6080 You deserved it 560 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML I agree, your life sucks 36093 You deserved it 4843 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By slapstick1982 - 31/12/2016 17:25 - United States - Ashford Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML I agree, your life sucks 1875 You deserved it 141 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - 12/4/2015 10:33 - United States - San Francisco Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML I agree, your life sucks 30728 You deserved it 2440 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 9/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML I agree, your life sucks 25344 You deserved it 7740 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/1/2012 06:24 - United States Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML I agree, your life sucks 43808 You deserved it 3945 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By adjk90 - 16/12/2010 17:06 - United States Today, I was helping a customer when she asked if we were open on Christmas eve. I wasn't sure, so I asked my manager. My manager looked me over and said, "Yes, we will be open. Thank you for volunteering to come in." FML I agree, your life sucks 33495 You deserved it 4244 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By limping - 24/1/2014 23:10 - Canada Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML I agree, your life sucks 46551 You deserved it 9033 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 02:23 - United States Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 58714 You deserved it 4350 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Academia - 18/8/2011 08:45 - United Kingdom Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML I agree, your life sucks 35570 You deserved it 2969 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - 13/3/2019 12:00 - United States - Salem Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML I agree, your life sucks 2125 You deserved it 213 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML I agree, your life sucks 40021 You deserved it 6130 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nik - 23/1/2009 15:41 - United States Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 31822 You deserved it 4372 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kevdev - 9/9/2010 19:58 - United States Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML I agree, your life sucks 34642 You deserved it 9305 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 08:29 Thanks for all the help Today, I found the Facebook album my sister took with her kids by the pool and out on boats while back in our hometown. My problem? I'm our dad's carer since his stroke and she had planned the trip as a mission to help me take care of him, but due to her kids being "sick", she only visited briefly. Twice. In 5 weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1546 You deserved it 98 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By plzdontclapme - 1/7/2012 23:03 Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML I agree, your life sucks 22517 You deserved it 2278 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By King.Dick. - 2/4/2015 14:21 - United States - Windsor Heights Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML I agree, your life sucks 30920 You deserved it 2956 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aww, such a nice guy. NOT - 25/5/2014 17:46 - United States - Dodge City Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 41256 You deserved it 6624 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Miss_Kristen - 26/2/2012 15:31 - United States Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 20322 You deserved it 34259 296 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/1/2010 07:50 - United States Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML I agree, your life sucks 34907 You deserved it 4649 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By banana_tree - 21/4/2014 21:26 - United Kingdom Today, I joked to a client that every time I see his name, I start singing the song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He looked blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still looked blankly, but now also utterly horrified, as were the rest of the waiting room. FML I agree, your life sucks 35342 You deserved it 11505 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beingthebossisoverrated - 16/7/2009 02:08 - United States Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML I agree, your life sucks 18340 You deserved it 42010 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jon - 14/3/2009 06:30 - United States Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 87848 You deserved it 6296 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By aishahahaha_ - 19/6/2016 00:34 - Zambia - Lusaka Today, I walked in on my sister and a few of my roommates planning a surprise party for a fellow roommate whose birthday is a week away. My birthday was yesterday. No one remembered. Not even my own sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 14647 You deserved it 751 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML I agree, your life sucks 37184 You deserved it 7162 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 16:09 - United States Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML I agree, your life sucks 30955 You deserved it 3565 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By skmusic - 9/4/2009 05:04 - Canada Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML I agree, your life sucks 21212 You deserved it 74920 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I was half paying attention to a text message conversation with someone about how addicted we both were to social media. It's wasn't until deep... I agree, your life sucks 630 You deserved it 564 3 Comments
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that... I agree, your life sucks 1003 You deserved it 189 2 Comments
