Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Today, I spent Thanksgiving alone. I'm not close to my family, I'm the black sheep but my sister said she would come over. To my surprise, she ended up going to my family's', where I'm not wanted. My boyfriend went to his family's, so I spent the whole day alone. He'd even took my dog. FML
Today, my wife is refusing to go on our honeymoon because the resort we chose won’t allow pets. She’s now angry with me for not checking before we booked the place, and is threatening divorce if I go without her. I told her we could just get a dog sitter, but she refuses. Oh well. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the dog sitter I'd left him with while I was on vacation. When I arrived at her house to pick him up, she said, "I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about." and threatened to call the cops if I didn’t "leave her premises for trespassing." FML
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, it's my wife's birthday. Since I had work, I gave her $200 to spend on herself and left. When I came back with dinner and the movie she wanted, I found her with a dog. She is very attached to him because the shelter was going to put him down. I love him, but I'm allergic to dogs. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
there must be more to it, why aren't you going with her for Thanksgiving?
SouthernBelle14 0
why aren't you gonna spend the holidays with her too?
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Comments (130)
mfmylifesrsly 30
I know right?? what if there's kids involved later? will she take them with her and leave them alone? WTF. I think it's time to sign some papers!
CreateZ 0
Who'd she call?
DocBastard 40
Ghostbusters?
EvilDave 13
Not enough info here. Either: A) YDI for being an immature man-child who is incompetent. Or B) FYL, you need to go find a good divorce attorney.
naximus93 0
I'd rather them work it out... my parents are getting divorced. not a happy situation for any of us. so they should work it out. besides, this way they don't have to go through the whole dating process again
sourgirl101 29
So it's "her" dog, not the family dog? Even if you've been married 7 years? Okay?
Jimboom 12
Awesome, some quality you time
DocBastard 40
These days I have to assume that means: 1)Black Ops 2)**** 3)repeat
Jimboom 12
Indeed. Play games til you get frustrated.. wank your frustrations away.. wash, rinse, repeat. ;-)
naximus93 0
bahahahahah
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
with Fido away at least now you can spend the holidays right where your wife has had you for the last seven years anyway...in the dog house
fairies633 8
maybe you shouldn't be married to her.
heartless_j 0
Sounds like sheaid over protective when it comes to her dog and that she doesn't care about you much
persephone13 0
She's going to be spending the holidays without her husband? Um....awkward? What kind of marriage is this?
SkillingXswagger 0
Sounds like your marriage is ******. Nice pick for a wife!