Miscellaneous: Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in...

By weave9z - 04/09/2012 02:08 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 180

You deserved it 3 159

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By deargodthepain - 02/02/2014 16:53 - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 270

You deserved it 8 853

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 701

You deserved it 528

By married to a bipedal husky - 12/07/2016 21:52 - United States - Lake Butler

Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floorrrrr. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 449

You deserved it 1 214

By wtfiswrongwithher - 07/05/2011 13:56 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 750

You deserved it 7 507

By ShiddyDiddy - 26/06/2019 04:39

Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 195

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 3 514

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 110

You deserved it 4 851

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 890

You deserved it 58 053

Earbleach

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 420

You deserved it 5 578

GovernorGeneral 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:06

Everything should have its own theme song.

boating_guy 33

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:04

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Comments

missunderstanded 5

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:41

it all started with the big bang!

SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:46

My husband does the same thing. He doesn't pee when we are in the bath though... he knows I WILL drown him.

tj4234 35

Tuesday 4 September 2012 14:10

wait... what?

demaoza 2

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:48

Your wife sounds awesome. I don't know what your problem is.

Marrach 7

Tuesday 4 September 2012 12:50

That is just plain weird. O_o

one11oh 2

Tuesday 4 September 2012 14:25

thats what i love in a woman.

fleurie 6

Tuesday 4 September 2012 14:29

Totally something I would do. Why not have fun and make life more interesting?

txguitarslinger 7

Tuesday 4 September 2012 14:38

Haha, that's not FML worthy. That's actually funny. You should've given her a high five for that, you prissy little douche.

M3LAKNEE 3

Tuesday 4 September 2012 15:33

I have a song when I have to pee...

ysmipha 3

Tuesday 4 September 2012 15:59

I read FML when I shit.…

DylansMomma 9

Tuesday 4 September 2012 17:01

Your comment : Sick!

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Scams Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Love Social Media Art Work Students Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Contraception

The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 195

You deserved it 3 626

The Top

Today, my mom is coming to pick up the Christmas presents we got for her and her husband. She won’t come inside or come within 6 feet, so she can be healthy when she goes down to the ex-wife’s parents house to hang out. The ex in-laws that hate me. Glad my mom chose them over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 123

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 282

You deserved it 1 827

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 277

You deserved it 315

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 3 349

Today, while working as a receptionist at a doctor's office, my boss asked me to check in one more patient before I left. He paid his $50 copay in nickels and dimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 899

You deserved it 144

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 201

Same thing different taste

Romance

Earbleach

Top comments

Comments