Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML
Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML
Today, I went and had my first ultrasound done. My husband said he had a meeting at work, and couldn't come. As I was leaving, I saw him at the doctor's office with another heavily pregnant woman. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JestrRulz 12
Thank you for your service. What a way to be rewarded. :( Kid isn't yours and apparently neither is the wife. D I V O R C E
s0ulslack 20
She should miss the divorce party then!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (195)
nickolascronk 3
Bitches like this need to be shot.....in the face.
tildoorf84 7
wow sucks to be you
mongoose313 2
Whats up with all the pregnant woman fmls today?!?!?
AnEvilLemon 9
Since when has cheating become acceptable in our society? We should take people like her and set her as a public example of how horrible people can be and punish them for this crime. Not only has she betrayed you, a soldier serving our country and protecting our freedom, but she has betrayed everything in the name of family and love and she should be left a penny-less *****. I don't know what you will decide the fate of the child to be but I recommend that it not live with her.