Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, my wife tried to forbid me from going to the gym anymore because in public she looks fat stood next to me and it’s embarrassing. She picked me up from the gym yesterday and saw all the “thin gym sluts” I prefer to spend my time with instead of her. God, I’m sick of her lazy jealous BS. FML
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML
Today, after my wife said I could decide what to do with our spare room, I decided to make a home gym. She hasn't stopped ranting about "patriarchal diet culture" and "unrealistic body expectations" since. I just wanted to get fit. FML
Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML
Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It's "cheating." FML
Today, while working out at the gym, I paused to check out a beautiful woman. The guy behind me said "Are you going to do your set or are you going to keep staring at my wife?" FML
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Top comments
reshikrom 14
So stop for a little while and tell her she can't complain when you get fat.
uchua 16
Marriage logic.
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Comments (109)
koganti 18
Okies, then now it's your turn to accuse her for some other silly reason
larrena2377 26
No. Now is the time to be a mature adult and have a talk with her.
betweenwinds 18
Just a thought. ~IF~ you're saying you can't believe you married her and calling her a neurotic wreck to her face and not just online, it probably isn't helping make her any less neurotic/paranoid. It sounds like there's something going on with her mental health that needs to be addressed like any other illness. Sit down and have a talk with her about her insecurity and find out how you two can make it subside - she needs support, not exasperation, if you ever want her to improve. Even so, what she did wasn't cool. Keep working out. You're going to look and feel awesome.
SolarLunix 21
It may not be cool, but at least she was open about her fears. Even if it (probably) was snappy and resulted in yelling.
PsychicBulwark 4
Since when is "openly" being a miserable harpy something to applaud? Next time your boyfriend yells at you that you're a cheating *****, I want you to applaud him for being "open". You'd slap him and call him a controlling pig. Nobody is that dense & out of touch with reality, sorry. Log off the internet and splash some cold water on your face.
Kittyphysics 21
as a woman battling borderline personality disorder and abandonment issues, I can totally see how she could come to that conclusion. yes. at times I can come off as 'neurotic'. however, what she needs is extra love and patience. if shes anything like myself, she hates it at least TWICE as much as you do. its not fun being crazy.
animalxcrackers 20
i mean, when you talk about her like that, i just cant imagine why she would have a low view of herself or your feelings for her.
hank0311 10
Look at it like this. 99 percent of the time when they start becoming neurotic freaks about you starting to look good and do something for yourself, they are hiding something and she sees that your bettering yourself in more ways then one. Don't let a chick hold you down, one that is Heath, and two "you do you" meaning worry about your Heath and what makes you feel good and if she can't support then then bounce. At the end of the day, do what make you feel good. If she was a supportive wife and in a healthy relationship she would be in the gym with you vs. gaining LBs on the couch. Take it for what it is I'm not trying to tear her down at all but maybe take a look at what the real problem is bro, I have been there a time or two. Best of luck to you!
SolarLunix 21
No it doesn't mean they are hiding something. A LOT a of the time it means they were hurt before. However, I agree, she COULD go to the gym with him, thing is, has he invited her or do they have kids that they have to care for where they can't both go at the same time? He needs to be more supportive and be open. When people start randomly bettering themselves there usually is a reason, and he should tell her why, not ask why he married her and bitch online.
PsychicBulwark 4
Oh, cool. So when he tries to work out, she doesn't need to support him. She can call him a cheater. Then HE NEEDS TO SUPPORT HER, because he deserves whatever abusive shit she spouts, and should get down on his knees and beg her to forgive him for improve his health without her. If the gender roles were reversed this feed would be clogged with women telling her to "dump him".
Algorithm 24
50, you've posted the exact same comment or some variation thereof complaining about "omgzz reverse sexism!!" three times, and I'm only half done reading this comment section. Are...are you okay? I think you need to get off the internet for a while.
Jashie 18
Maybe because it needs to be heard. He's not all that wrong...
kidtoy 18
If you ask me, it's time to file for divorce.
theaaxis 27
Jesus, really? Over a minor argument? What is wrong with you?
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Nobody asked.
be82tw 17
@24, Accusations of infidelity are never a "minor argument." By the time that accusation is leveled, warranted or not, much of the trust is gone in a relationship. I am not advocating divorce, but this is a serious problem, not a minor squabble over the dinner table.
Jashie 18
I saw a recent FML where people were telling a girl to break up with her boyfriend for making a joke. It wasn't a crazy joke either. Why is the FML community so weird like that
blostrich_ 19
You should sit down and have long talk with her. Because honestly, I wouldn't want to have a fat and lazy husband. Working out is good for you! I hope she understands that, especially if you enjoy it.
sparkledoge 29
Because being married to a man who gets fat and never showers is so much better than a man who actually takes care of himself ! I can understand she's afraid of seeing you go to other women but assuming you are really doing it... Since she married you she should trust you more.
Seabass_Chan 33
Tell her the truth then: it makes you healthier, you feel good, longer life expectancy, improved self esteem, etc
plan_Z 14
This could be a sign that she herself is cheating and thinking you are doing the same. It could be that she reads a lot of magazines, you know the sort that have them crappy "is your partner cheating" quiz BS in them, and contain pretty much nothing but cheating partner stories. Hire a detective.
writergirl1029 17
It may be time for some marriage counseling, OP.