By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 07:13 - United States - Eagle Point

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 114
You deserved it 3 540

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Unless there really was a sniper ... 0_o

It's not paranoia if they really are after you. HEY, WHO THE **** IS AT MY WINDOW!?


Unless there really was a sniper ... 0_o

castleofg1ass 19

Just like there was in breaking bad ;) (season 5)

#1 - I had to do this. He knows to Jesse Ventura.

23, you NEVER put spoilers on the internet unless you say "SPOILERS" right on top. i bet you've made some people quite upset

In all fairness, revealing that tiny detail of Breaking Bad doesn't reveal much of the plot, unless you tell everyone the context. But yeah, don't spoil it for people.

Thanks for spoiling. You did a great job. Thanks....

MikaykayUnicorn 36

#23 leave. take your spoilers with you.

Snipers don't use lasers in the fist place that only happens in movies

well. some SF used to in NI to make the bad guys crap themselves :P

Ha ha ha.. Sorry mate but that was hilarious... Welcome to crazy earth :)

\ 28

in today's world, you can't blame him

shadowedpixie 19

I seriously think this guy might be my teacher.... O_o OP, I am so sorry if he is your neighbor!

73, obviously he's like this neighbor.

Yes, I actually "laughed out loud" on this one! ^_^

It's not paranoia if they really are after you. HEY, WHO THE **** IS AT MY WINDOW!?

*philosoraptor* What if all the crazy conspiracy theorists are actually government agents and talk crazy so when someone actually tells the truth everyone aunts they're crazy?

perdix 29

I love conspiracy theorists. My grandpa was one. They tell the greatest stories. But I would not enjoy being thrown down the stairs by one. Feel better!

I consider myself a conspiracy theorist to some extent. If you look at all the declassified government documents from the 30's to the early 80's you realize they did some really ****** up shit. During the Cold War the US government sprayed poison in the air in Louisville Illinois because they wanted to see the effect it would have on people's lungs. This was an on going project that lasted years, and when you see what they did then, you have to ask "what are they doing now?" Although OP's neighbor sounds a bit extreme.

Oh I agree. I think I got my grandpa's crazy gene. I did a project on the theory about AIDS, and I totally didn't believe it at first, but when you dig deep, it's really scary how convincing the unpopular argument. And we all know the government is ******, the system is ******, and the whole world is ******. So who knows really?

My favorite theory is the JFK assassination. The official report on that has more holes than a dam made of Swiss cheese.

I would be already planning how to throw him down the stairs, sweet revenge.

Reread the FML. He didn't deliberately throw OP down the stairs. He was running down in a panic, and bumped into OP. The life of a conspiracy theorist must be horrifying; like the poster I had on my wall in college said, " Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T out to get you." Poor man could have actually been targeted and no one would believe him. My guess would be the guy on the grassy knoll.

ahhh my bad missed the conspiracy theorist part. Yeah I agree that would be horrible although sometimes they make alot of sense .... that might be my inner survivalist talking though.

Aww that sucks I hope you didn't get hurt too bad

Whoever did that stupid prank is a ********. Your neighbour is clearly mentally unstable and taunting him like that is not cool.

I think you mean awesome. Nothing like tormenting a very paranoid person.

Agree #32. probably just an autocorrect

Wizardo 33

Its a conspiracy when its not happening to you and when the NSA listens in, the FBI investigates and CIA targets you its all reality maaaaaan...