Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML
Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
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Top comments
little_aliceee 17
I wonder how painful it will be when he *****....
Fuaaad1994 31
He is going to regret it when he takes a dump
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Comments (97)
Thatguy334 7
So if I tell you that you're an idiot, are you going to be permanently psychologically damaged? If someone does something stupid, they should be called our on it. When I did stupid shit, my old man called me on it. You know what happened? I stopped doing stupid shit.
Brandi_Faith 34
I understand what you're saying 85, but this parent is calling them an idiot on FML, not to their face. So you can't jump on them for venting that their son is an idiot on a site for complaining. No where did it say that Op called their son and idiot to their face.
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
I know the school life. I understand it was a risk with a high enough payout.
beautyy_megan 6
Can't blame the guy for wanting to miss school but that's ridiculous LOOL
shanannygians07 28
I feel like he at least broke out in a sweat
shanannygians07 28
Common sense is not so common.
Aegimus 5
LAWLS.
willliamfriend 18
He's gonna feel real stupid when he takes a shit.
GetSomeM0 24
hot going in, hot coming out.
ilovemyrickyboy 7
lol can I date him