Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 15:45 - United States

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

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Geek

Family values

Trust

This is fine

By Anonymous - 21/10/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

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By dumbass - 1/10/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

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By sotired - 5/3/2013 19:58 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

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By Bleh - 8/3/2019 22:00 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML

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By that1summergirl - 19/9/2019 12:00 - Canada

Riverdale is a lie

Today, I called my boyfriend at 2 a.m., telling him I couldn't sleep. He replied, "Well, I can," and hung up. FML

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By ThisGuy97 - 12/8/2011 20:46 - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2016 05:38 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing and cut through the headphone wire. FML

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By Gothicbunnyx3 - 21/2/2012 01:43 - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

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By Dontsitsitandyoudie - 2/5/2017 14:00 - Iceland - Reykjav?k

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/9/2010 01:44 - United States

Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic". FML

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By GoodDog - 9/9/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

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By amythest - 13/2/2012 00:18 - United Kingdom

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

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By Wetarse - 15/3/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was laughing at the new granite stool sculpture our work put in the office garden. I said to my colleagues for a laugh that I'd be the first to sit on it. Turns out it was a bird bath. FML

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By mississpissi - 14/7/2015 12:00 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

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By - 8/3/2020 20:17

Right in the kisser

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

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By Insane Guy - 21/12/2012 06:47 - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/5/2018 15:00

The Spectacular Spider-Thief

Today, I went to a comic shop to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. A guy in a really nice Spider-Man costume showed up, so I asked and got a selfie with him on my way out. When I got home, I realized my wallet was missing from my back pocket. I was robbed by Spider-Man. FML

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By Bratty son - 23/10/2012 04:25 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

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By Rebecca2135 - 1/10/2018 22:05

Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/4/2013 22:29 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

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By CanadianTwin - 6/7/2012 06:52 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

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By ai_lauren - 19/12/2014 04:04 - United States - Bayonne

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

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By Jocelyn - 25/11/2012 07:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

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By lkvetched - 30/8/2016 17:23 - United States - Palestine

Today, I got food poisoning in the middle of the wilderness while hiking in a state park with my husband. I had to tend to nature several times before we reached our car. The only supplies I had was a bottle of water and a laminated trail map. It was part of an anniversary trip. How romantic. FML

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By absentminded - 11/3/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

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By wtf mom?! - 6/4/2019 12:00

Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving around with my 20-month-old daughter not sat in a car seat. She told me I was overreacting, and that everything was fine since she “prayed for a safe journey.” FML

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By Karie-Rose - 6/2/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

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By aprilfooled - 2/4/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

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By John LegoHair - 23/5/2019 00:09

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a wig. It's my real hair. FML

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By paging dr. kevorkian - 16/5/2013 21:23 - Netherlands

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

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By Anonymous - 9/6/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

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By happyeffingbday202 - 2/4/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, was my 16th birthday. Needless to say, I was delighted when my friends presented me with a birthday card in a homeroom. I pretended to be surprised and exclaimed, "Aw, you guys really shouldn't have!" They didn't. It was our teacher's birthday. They just wanted me to sign the card. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/9/2013 07:53 - United States - Carbondale

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, a girl I've been crushing on for over a year finally gave me her number. I lost the note at home, but found it a few hours later. I excitedly called, only to find she'd written down the number for the local Pizza Hut. FML

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By uglyallover - 20/9/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

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By bad blood, no shit - 3/12/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/6/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/8/2011 14:29 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

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By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

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Top comments

By kickazz16 | 15

#3653718 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:44

Throw it against his head. Maybe itll bounce
Some knowledge into his head.

By biasedshooter | 24

#3653729 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:44

You should sell those, you could make some serious dough!

COMMENTS

By kickazz16 | 15

#3653718 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:44

Throw it against his head. Maybe itll bounce
Some knowledge into his head.

TheWindowLicker | 13

#3653741 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:46

That annoying and awkward moment when #1 posts a one letter comment to secure the place of #1(when i posted this he/she put "D" to secure the place)

ihasbrains | 10

#3653747 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:47

I saw that as well.

But how is that awkward again?

Muslimgal92 | 0

#3653800 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:56

I'm pretty sure it will probably bounce a chicken wing not knowledge:)

bubble25_fml | 5

#3653825 - Monday 28 November 2011 19:04

I would've just gone with it. I mean, you never know what a chicken wing will do...

StopDropNRoll | 11

#3653924 - Monday 28 November 2011 19:40

Yup if your lucky your play dough will fly!

Carbonation | 0

#3653994 - Monday 28 November 2011 20:06

I personally add the chicken wings to make my play-dough cluck. The flying's just a bonus.

zinoxity | 23

#3654063 - Monday 28 November 2011 20:28

1 - I'm sorry, but was your comment meant to be funny?

Throwing at his head wouldn't even hurt....

DrDilllonReese | 12

#3655345 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:24

I'm not even sure she can read...

Msagrera | 5

#3655422 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:53

How is this a FML anyway? He made a lame attempt at a joke

mrpipp | 0

#3655700 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 2:41

Fuck u 44. Everyone here died a little on the inside because of your comment.

Renesaga | 8

#3655739 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:00

130, I died a little at the fact you left two letters off of 'you'.

Renesaga | 8

#3655742 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:00

For some reason, this double posted. Yay, editing!

xxGheTToGumbYxx | 16

#3655752 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:04

134, I died a little on the inside at the fact u had to point that out! :D

Renesaga | 8

#3655759 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 3:06

136, well played.

puppytaco64 | 8

#3656432 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:39

I died a little on the inside because 138 is a grammar nazi

amanda_say_whutt | 9

#3656538 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:54

"aint no thing but a chicken wing"

swimchica22 | 0

#3656683 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 5:22

At least make it a buffalo wild wings chicken wing... Gotta have the best!

BayleeWasHere | 1

#3656857 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 6:04

Uh, chicken wings…that helps… :P

atomicbaboon | 0

#3657195 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 7:39

Why would a chicken wing help it fly? Chicken's can't fly.

atomicbaboon | 0

#3657198 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 7:39

Why would a chicken wing help it fly? Chicken's can't fly.

Carbonation | 0

#3657503 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 9:00

When I throw them into the side of the barn theu do. Some call it animal abuse, I call it science.

By happyhak | 5

#3653720 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:44

Well...Your partner is very creative...

StormfrontX33_fml | 24

#3653760 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:48

Well he's supposed to try and make it bounce, and not fly....

rattusrattus | 18

#3654038 - Monday 28 November 2011 20:20

Dude, don't mistake insane troll logic for creativity.

DarylAndrew | 2

#3654265 - Monday 28 November 2011 21:59

Since when could a chicken fly?

rattusrattus | 18

#3654303 - Monday 28 November 2011 22:10

Since I took it on an aeroplane with me.

Hummbinger | 5

#3655165 - Monday 28 November 2011 23:27

#60, since forever

DrDilllonReese | 12

#3655332 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:22

Chickens can fly. The longest recorded flight just happens to only be about 13 seconds.

tehrealone | 6

#3655410 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:47

Hey you don't happen to have a spare book of world records on hand do you?

DrDilllonReese | 12

#3655464 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:10

No, I have a spare book of useless facts.

geon_olam | 17

#3655545 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:38

85- not if the egg came first!

ilikebreasts | 0

#3655579 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:47

Actually he's not creative. He is Black, and all he thinks about are KFC chicken wings.

maddylovesu | 5

#3656844 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 6:01

Innovative.

By ihasbrains | 10

#3653722 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:44

It would make it tasty?

TheDeadlyTurtle | 7

#3654044 - Monday 28 November 2011 20:23

A+ for deliciousness!
D- for bounciness!

SkoomaKi | 27

#3654048 - Monday 28 November 2011 20:23

Nothing like the taste of play-doh and chicken wing :D

RetardedBullFrog | 4

#3654219 - Monday 28 November 2011 21:37

The flavours will bounce inside your mouth

zombicidal | 11

#3655241 - Monday 28 November 2011 23:58

that's like a C

TheCarChanel | 0

#3655401 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:42

Play dough tastes salty

dethbunny | 0

#3655656 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 2:24

Play dough facts
Feel: nice, fun, squishy
Smell: weird
Sight: colorful
Taste: related to poseidon's salty butt hole

By biasedshooter | 24

#3653729 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:44

You should sell those, you could make some serious dough!

SCREAM4meeee | 0

#3653789 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:54

Aha I see what you did there

Muwahaha_fml | 4

#3653895 - Monday 28 November 2011 19:34

Pun!

thisisafunnyname | 12

#3654096 - Monday 28 November 2011 20:44

Aldough they may seem disgusting, they're delicious!

TeamDazu | 5

#3655444 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:04

You killed it 49.

zukinihudini | 0

#3656311 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:22

^ i thought it was funny

Whoze | 0

#3657968 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 12:09

Haha

By DallasMavs | 3

#3653738 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:45

Sounds like a genuis to me.

instnt1nfction | 17

#3654996 - Monday 28 November 2011 22:34

Seems like a genius next to you

robertlovespi | 3

#3655604 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 2:00

You realize people are going to continually down vote your comments since you have a hat with a sticker on it, trying so hard to be "gangsta".

RiZiX | 0

#3656225 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:11

You don't look like one...

puppytaco64 | 8

#3656456 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 4:43

He can't look gangsta, he's not the right ethnicity

NotDave | 0

#3658290 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 13:53

123, I know I will. Especially with the whole middle-finger-in-the-picture thing. Hurr durr, what a rebel!

Justin23L | 2

#3659310 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 20:50

Maybe you should just stop trying to comment with that picture?

By Angelice_fml | 0

#3653750 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:47

At least it would taste better than real play-dough.

jackipdoc | 31

#6298416 - Friday 22 May 2015 22:17

I'd go with a hot dog. Especially one from a cafeteria- those things bounce pretty damn high

By EwanSmith | 2

#3653752 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:48

poultry in motion...

KindaFunnyRight | 8

#3655310 - Tuesday 29 November 2011 0:16

How punny!

By piratepride77 | 0

#3653762 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:48

Anyone care to guess what color the lab partner is?

bachooka | 5

#3653813 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:58

My racism-radar is going off. I love fried chicken.

ihasbrains | 10

#3653820 - Monday 28 November 2011 19:00

He was pirate colored.

By pfx2_fml | 15

#3653765 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:48

Maybe he hopes it will fly..

By wilsontws | 18

#3653778 - Monday 28 November 2011 18:51

Stuff that into his mouth! :D