Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I walked into a public restroom and, to my utter surprise, saw a lady squeezing blood out of used tampons. We made eye contact, she continued, and I ran out in horror. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close it because I'd seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML
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Top comments
wobbly1 16
How long has she had a drinking problem?
MDoremis 38
Who in their right mind does that?! Reading that made my own **** hurt. Geeze.
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Comments (125)
toxicLover28 19
Hangover 101 should be made into a movie :D this better be good
Cath_Astald 9
She deserves it. I mean how can someone be so stupid to try and pierce their nipple by themselves, without proper tools, experience and on the ******* toilet? It doesn't go like that. Maybe if it's done the proper way it might not even hurt that bad, it doesn't hurt everyone as bad as they say. Just don't be stupid, go to professional.
shelzykid 12
Oww! Reading that put me in pain!
ooooohboy 15
That reminds me when I went to get my cartilage pierced. There were two girls that went to the back to get their nipples pierced. You could hear them from all the way from outside.
WajdiSmirat 12
My God! I laughed so hard that my stomach aches now
nickinsmoke 4
people are taking fifty shades of gray to seriously
timberwolf408 7
Yay! Bewbs!!!
travellingfun 18
Piercing your own nipple is such a bad idea, was she drunk?
LethalSeamonkey 15
That's not a DIY Pinterest project. However I will say that it was worth every penny getting them done. I'm not the most confident person and having them done gave me that little boost I needed.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
This is why we don't do drugs kids. And be responsible when consuming alcohol.