Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML
Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML
Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML
Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
Today, after having to move home with my parents because I'm broke and can't seem to find a job, my mom found out I'm on anti-depressants. She and my dad will no longer be helping with money because she doesn't like "drugs". FML
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Top comments
Daonna 9
She has quite the testy attitude.
foxwasalamb 24
jealousy maybe?
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Comments (65)
Ashd09 30
I feel like I know OP. My cousin's mom doesn't let him do anything without assuming he's doing drugs
oJoy 11
control freak...
demonfacee 14
Yeah, you're right, your mom is a psychotic bitch. What you do with your friends is none of her business whatsoever. Why would she drug test you just cuz you were having fun? You're supposed to have chill and have fun with friends. FYL.
Axel5238 29
I have my doubts. I'm sure there were situations that the OP either was or acting in a way that someone would think they are. Claims like this don't generally come out of the blue without some previous thing.
momac86 17
Maybe she'd be happier with some drugs
SystemofaBlink41 27
If you say so, I guess...
klenorris 15
Sounds like she needs a hash cake!
Ahsome 6
Take the test!!! if you pass HOORAY! if not then your mom is right and she should take some too.
SauceySarah 30
The same thing happened to me a couple years ago. My mom was like "you're never this happy" when I genuinely was happy because I was hanging out with friends. She emptied out my school bag and asked who my dealer was. Oh mothers.
blackonblight 33
I may agree with Susan Sto-Helit when she says "Real children don’t go hoppity-skip unless they are on drugs" but I can't agree with your mother. I bet she gets upset when you test clean.