Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML
Today, after I'd saved a baby mouse and was filming a YouTube series of me taking care of it, my boyfriend told me he found a “rat” in the kitchen, but not to worry he killed it and fed it to the cat. He killed my baby mouse, and now he’s mad I didn’t praise him for his brilliant extermination job. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
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Top comments
therealslim 15
I wouldn't particularly like a mouse running over to my food and eating it either
RachelBerry_fml 5
Well the mouse shouldn't be on the table..
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Comments (130)
EnterSandman_fml 20
Normally when I see a mouse in my cellar my reaction is to smash it with whatever's handy and then swear at myself for the mess I made. If there was a mouse in the kitchen, who knows what kind of mess there'd be. Rodents don't belong in certain places, and in a house is one of them. If you have to have one as a pet, keep it in a cage.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I don't know if anyone has seen Xiaolin Showdown, but I totally imagined a Jack Spicer scream.
nightwanderer 6
39 I'm glad I'm not the only one who pictured that.
loserman67 36
He probably wasn't screaming so much over the mouse as he was screaming that the mouse was eating his bacon. The mouse deserves to die for that!
fester0512 1
I would have done the same thing!! I have a huge phobia of mice.. I probably would have broken up with you on the spot too!
1094568 1
Give the man a break.... sheesh Do u prefer getting ****** by a mouse or a guy
crazyskillz122 0
Lol
DonovanRiddick 6
Id laugh my ass off if a mouse did that to me. Funny.
Zachthejoker 10
Maybe you should **** the mouse
luvscomplic8ed 6
Hahaha winning!
linkinpark98 24
Mouse: "I SAW IT FIRST, BITCH!"