Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML
Today, after I'd saved a baby mouse and was filming a YouTube series of me taking care of it, my boyfriend told me he found a “rat” in the kitchen, but not to worry he killed it and fed it to the cat. He killed my baby mouse, and now he’s mad I didn’t praise him for his brilliant extermination job. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
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Top comments
therealslim 15
I wouldn't particularly like a mouse running over to my food and eating it either
RachelBerry_fml 5
Well the mouse shouldn't be on the table..
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Comments (130)
NothingsEasy 4
Boss mouse way to show up your boyfriend
cheyennerosi33 0
Lmfao what a pussy
kei1108 13
Wow. You are being very misogynistic. Congrats on having a pet mouse though! Those little creatures are awesome.
jennifernorvell 7
I have one question. What the hell is your mouse doin on the freakin dinner table?
CCNC 3
Do you normally bring your pet mouse to the dinner table? I don't see how that is sanitary...
mrphychrs 5
sounds like your a great girlfriend saying your boyfriend has smaller balls than a mouse. sounds like you need to be put in your place, and your boyfriend sounds like he needs plastic surgery
JustAGuy107 0
The mouse wants you. He was showing his dominance over your boyfriend.
Rocky007 15
I gotta give you a YDI, for owning a mouse.
ummmhii 0
I think a lot of people would've done the same thing... Did your mouse somehow get out of his cage, or do you always let him run around the house when you're eating?!
OkAndroid87 4
And what did you do?