Today, it’s my birthday. My husband gave me quite the surprise. He shouldn’t have. He surprised me by letting me walking in on him doing my sister doggy-style on our bed. Happy Birthday! FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, during sex I wasn’t really into it so I was letting my mind wander and it randomly settled on my sister's birthday and how I needed to buy a gift. As my husband seemed like he was about to finish, I faked my orgasm and accidentally moaned my sister's name. He heard me, so now he’s "concerned". FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, I got out of work, and just wanted to relax after a stressful day. Instead, I came home to a surprise birthday party that my boyfriend set up. My birthday isn't even until next week, and I secretly hate two of the people he invited. FML
Today, it's my wedding anniversary. I decided to come home early to surprise my husband, but I was the one left surprised. I walked in on him in bed with a teenager. I'm six months pregnant with our second child. FML
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Top comments
lgrave 8
Happy Birthday!
spinningrecords 14
That is pure hatred. Sorry
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
They just thought if they got the threesome started first, you'd jump right in. If you asked for a ménage a trois for your birthday, you have to be specific that you wanted the MFM type.
FluffythePink 24
The majority of people have very clear feelings about incest. Should I assume that you are from Alabama?
lgrave 8
Happy Birthday!
spinningrecords 14
That is pure hatred. Sorry
SirEnigM0nk 22
That dog of a soon-to-be ex-husband needs to be dropped off somewhere where it will be in the 30s or below.
Khay33 12
all those who tapped "you deserved this" are idiots.