Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML
Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML
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Top comments
cradle6 13
Chocolate eggs? Is that what you kids call them now?
SkoomaKi 28
I'm proud of you, you found the last egg! Must have been some good chocolate if they said that.
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Comments (181)
hornetsbaseball 6
Hey u better have enjoyed that last egg
8on8on 2
Was the egg good?
THExistentialist 13
OP egg yum, no Fo Yu!
uhnevermind 24
Your parents must LOVE those chocolate eggs.
Plush4318 1
Out of the mouth come forth blessings and curses. Watch out OP.
THExistentialist 13
why? into the mouth goes forth blessing of eggs chocolate! out of parental mouth comes forth curses such as "mo' ****** ate the last DAMNED egg!" making OP a son of a bitch, but whether OP is cursed is still unknown to me. just cursed AT.
Bekll 31
Just a scare tactic. Don't let them get to you; enjoy that last chocolate egg! You deserve it.
JackeeDawn 9
That must have been some good chocolate..
pagullarka 9
Prove them wrong by becoming the president of the USA or better off the world. -{-:
Nerdfightersrule 11
Sounds good. Sounds awesome. Sounds like they would be impressed, or not the idiotic parentses.
Igor_g5 0
Either way a crook is a crook.
kamikrazy 6
Well, the chocolate eggs are delicious so I can't blame them.
The_Hitdude 12
You obviously aren't telling is the whole story OP. This is what really went down: ...The last chocolate egg,which was your younger sisters, was in the fridge toward the back. Your sister wanted to duel you for it, but you backed down at the last second. That evening, while your sister was asleep, you put her under a manipulative spell, in which she swore to give you the egg. Then you killed her. Your parents, not knowing of the previous occurences, witnessed you feasting on the sugar filled prize. After this, and their discovery of your sister's corpse, they banished you to a far far away land, from which you write this FML. THAT is what really happened. You thought I wouldn't find out? Foolish mortal!
ghostlilac 25
WTF is going on in your head?
BrownSugar10940 2
Now that creeps me out
xCramsie97 0
Too lazy to read this
THExistentialist 13
foolish n00b, you tried too hard.
newburton13 26
Don't let them get to you. Greedy bastards.