Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours, one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell, and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done, I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML
Today, we took my cat to get her shots. She screeched and clamored in the car until I took her out of the carrier and held her in my lap… where she immediately pooped on my new white pants and then hid under the seat. FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
eew. And then you took your pants to the drycleaner and all was well again.
purplemnm 9
cats are evil. 'nuff said.
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Comments (85)
GreenDayRoxs 0
tee hee.
maskedman 9
Congratulations, you are now toilet paper.
ElMetalero 0
chuck norris would've roundhoused that cat till it became a dog
GreenDayRoxs 0
chuck norris FTW
XR6Falcon 0
change your pants and get over it!
MakaPaka_fml 0
no need for a litterbox now.
Cupcaken 0
so? she was warming up. a cat doesn't think strategily like that. they don't think "I'll smear poo all over her pants" the poo just happened to be there.
gigi_bella 0
Aren't all cats basically anti social?
Twi_lover_EC 6
Not all cats are anti social. I've met some who meow for attention.:)
FYLDeep 26
Lol that's probably worse.
wildchild101 0
now, THIS is the reason why i freakin hate cats
ad_astra_taurus 2
I pictured your icon saying that. hilarious!
JSM1986 0
I would have kicked the shit out of thing
Diannaa 0
lol nice
thatguy626 0
cat lady