Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own, and where I work. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML
Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Free gas?
LemonStarship 5
He's trying to get closer to you. And he's succeeding.
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Comments (53)
batummshakalaka 1
Ummm. I think the real FML here is your mom wanting you to guess who she slept with. That's creepy.
ucity 0
Some redneck shit straight!
Elvampy777 0
what kind of respect is that if your mom was a little decent she would never make a comment like that . by the way im in holyoke mass tell ur mom if she wants to hook lol
Decodedman 1
Obligitory threesome remark.
JustGrifen 15
I'm looking for 69
Yastafari 16
Am I the only one who thinks this pair shares way too much? Like seriously, who shares sex stories with their kid?