Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, my mom told an entire room full of people about the time I almost died from severe diarrhea as a toddler. When I told her that it was embarrassing, she simply told me to “grow up”. FML
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Top comments
haliacc 17
If you've never had those symptoms you should consider yourself lucky! I know people who have all!
briang959 47
Lucky you.
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Comments (83)
Izabushel 65
Diarrhoea is caused by the changes in prostaglandin levels, which also causes a lot of the other symptoms women get to different degrees before, during and after their period. So tell your mum that your periods are not asymptomatic. Getting bowel symptoms myself, I feel for you. If it's any comfort, it got better for me as I got older. People telling saying 'oh you are so lucky, when I have my period I bleed through 5 pads, get really bad cramps and then my leg falls off' are not helpful to OP. Women each have different bodies and experience different things. It's not a competition. Just give OP some commiseration and maybe helpful advice if asked for.
queenjordan777 3
It cleans you system ??
DeuxMichio 2
Guess you have to use twice as much tampons...
imagineapc 11
oh my god. Please go take a sex ed class. The level of stupid in this one isn't meaurable...
SalukiRod 5
Hey that seems to be a winning trade off to me!
MathIsStupid 11
Dang, that sucks. Once a month for the rest of your life (until middle age) you know that you'll be guaranteed to have painful diarrhea. Hate to be you OP.
sillylilly84 4
Oddly enough try gas pills.
nyahz1 7
honestly, I think I'd rather the diarrhea lol can't be worse than cramps
SpankyRaven 31
Did you miss the part about it being 'excruciatingly painful' diarrhea? Yes it can be just as bad if not worse than cramps. You get the agonizing bowel spasms along with sitting on the toilet forever. Then the excoriation of the skin meaning you sometimes have to use nappy rash cream on your butt. I usually get the trade off of cramps one period, diarrhea the next, and if I have been a very bad girl, satan brings both. I prefer the cramps, at least a hot water bottle and medication helps for that.
tamesenicole 27
Thank goodness for midol
sierrami212 5
Advil helps with diarrhea. I'd rather have just diarrhea. My cramps cause me to both throw up and have diarrhea.
stepmommy 5
you are lucky. I know a lot of people, myself included, who the diarrhea is just an added bonus to the cramps, bloating, mood swings and the god awful period darts.