Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
Today, my mom told an entire room full of people about the time I almost died from severe diarrhea as a toddler. When I told her that it was embarrassing, she simply told me to “grow up”. FML
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Top comments
haliacc 17
If you've never had those symptoms you should consider yourself lucky! I know people who have all!
briang959 47
Lucky you.
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Comments (83)
patrickeli 15
Better thank your lucky stars for that one.
Clawsified 6
Try Imodium.
sushiemoji 9
I never get cramps or bloating or any of that either, I just get a really heavy flow sometimes.
underscoreguy 8
I remember those days when I have to run to convenience stores on midnights because my ex finishes a box a day O_O
Lei_Aili 18
I get cramps, bloating, mood swings, AND excruciatingly painful diarrhea. So **** you.
PhantomFollower 20
Well don't be sarcastic,'OP. Niether you nor your mother can help the specific genetic code that created those specific symptoms.
xxreikoxx 31
Ouch, OP. That really does suck. :/ I'm the same way...minus the diarrhea part. I'm so sorry.
aimzskee 30
I wouldn't call any female at that time of the month lucky.
HeartYou101 31
Me and my mother are the same! Before I was on the Pill though, I used to nearly faint with the pain and I vomited from it a few times before too...Now it's just diarrhea and I miss like 3 days of college a month because of it
sophscrupsky 8
I have cramps,bloating,mood swings and a heavy period. Thanks mom
evilamoebaattack 20
i used to have a pathetic time but i lost like 25 pounds and now i have an easy-peasy three day period. constipation may happen though :/