Intimacy: Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat...

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 700

You deserved it 15 190

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 158

You deserved it 564

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 539

You deserved it 723

Old prude

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 22:00

Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 263

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 974

You deserved it 53 783

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 050

You deserved it 12 196

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 427

By mster233 - 09/10/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 326

You deserved it 5 826

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 362

You deserved it 1 653

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 617

You deserved it 10 408

austincain117 16

Monday 1 December 2014 22:38

I guess having a ***** is a dildont ha get it? no... okay...

emissy 14

Monday 1 December 2014 22:39

I, personally, would not touch someone else's *****

Comments

Offing 10

Friday 5 December 2014 22:40

There's a purple ***** in the San Andreas Police Department shower that you can beat people with. (It's double sided.)

WarriorOmen 25

Saturday 6 December 2014 3:47

1-2-3-4-I-Declare-A-Dick-War!

ladybugz23 13

Saturday 6 December 2014 5:37

lmao!!

katrinabriar 6

Monday 8 December 2014 19:30

It's not like you were out making babies haha. I'd high five my daughter .

durangosonora 1

Wednesday 10 December 2014 1:07

Awwh poor OP :( lol

buddysboy9 11

Saturday 13 December 2014 20:20

Kinda sexy when I picture it happening in my head

Sanchez1409 6

Tuesday 16 December 2014 13:36

LMFAO XD

Xeno_Dude 8

Wednesday 17 December 2014 5:12

better a ***** than a belt

BrownBearFML 1

Monday 22 December 2014 20:10

Plot twist: Its a guy

cassiebucaro99 12

Wednesday 24 December 2014 17:41

?? so sorry i just had to laugh

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 054

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 396

You deserved it 51 855

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 336

You deserved it 40 882

Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 933

You deserved it 1 588

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 380

You deserved it 8 084

Today, while looking through the newspaper, I saw that my sister got married a couple weeks ago. Not only did she not invite me, she "forgot" to mention it yesterday while we were having lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 88

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 781

You deserved it 5 223