Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML
Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML
Today, I was told how cruel and selfish I am for rubbing my weight loss in my mom’s face. I’ve literally begged my mom to walk, jog, workout with me for months. She went exactly once. She complained the whole time, then called me a bitch for finishing my run while she sat in the car. FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, my already disabled mother is on the brink of becoming bedridden due to her weight. I flat out refused to buy fast food or unhealthy food to keep in the fridge. She started screaming through the wall that I was beating her, until the neighbors called the cops. Sadly, this isn’t the first time. FML
Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get her "another damn pie." FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her about my terminal cancer diagnosis. She responded with, "What makes you think I care at all?" before hanging up. FML
Today, my mother is upset that I won’t share things with her anymore. This is the woman who spent my entire childhood gossiping about every teeny tiny detail of my life, and used my suicide attempt as a way to garner pity for herself. Yeah, no thanks. FML
Today, my vegan step-mom found out I ate at McDonald's yesterday. She gave me hell and asked me how it feels to give money to "murderers". All while my dad sat quietly by because he's too whipped to speak his mind. It wasn't even her house a month ago. FML
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Top comments
karlcolt45 19
it's all about priorities
iloveshim 14
We see where her loyalties lie, with the hot pockets. Now we know for sure bitches ain't nothin but hoes and tricks.
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Comments (85)
perdix 31
You need to listen to the wisdom of Dr. Jim Gaffigan. You won't look at Hot Pockets the same again and that source of family strife will disappear.
j_cat187 20
Diarrhea pocket :D
RaiKaze 5
Bet some cops would sure be interested to hear about that. :P
carminecris89 13
Your mom has some serious problems.
buckdharma 38
Hey bitch, I'm preggo, so leggo my Eggo.
ZombieSazza 34
..... Move out? If she bugs you that much just move out and talk to her less, she'll eventually grow up or not notice why you get annoyed with her.
vladimirnabokov 15
I love hot pockets. I'd probably be mad too! although your mom does sound like a bitch for the whole fake cancer thing.
kb021 18
Sounds like your mother is a real piece of work. FYL.
sythe511 28
Fake cancer to get out of a ticket? If I were the cop I would just have said "I'm sorry, but that isn't an excuse to break the law." and give her a ticket anyway.
kaileylovesyew 4
I really ******* hate your mother. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that bitch.
dmbfan31 7
Hot Pockets are gross and your mom is a first class heifer, that is all.