Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
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Top comments
daytoday21 10
Why so surprised anyway?
perdix 31
Drunk, horny and far away? Your boss knowing that is the least of your problems. A man on her end of the phone should be of more immediate concern to you! This is not going to end well.
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Comments (57)
onorexveritas 24
oopsie daisy
WICKEDxANGEL 13
Good work, Romeo ;o
CanadianCutie22 16
props to you for doing the long distance thing !
icepick23 12
Your boss probably got turned on...
ThePrestige 12
khair oi ye tho pakistan say hai :)
Kk_Waylen24 21
Oh no! He didn't fire you or anything right?
DorkAlert 10
BWAHAHAHA ohh that sucks. Such a funny story though.
DorkAlert 10
BWAHAHAHA ohh that sucks. Such a funny story though.
xRezSynn 15
Is it more awkward for you or your boss?
abasham 4
At least your boss didn't say yes.