Today, my husband won't shave his beard, despite the fact it grows in wiry and looks like pubic hair. He is now accusing me of "not loving him for who he is." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
Today, my husband looked at me and said, "Baby, you're growing a mustache. You want me to edge it up?" No, I don't have that much. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, my previously blond boyfriend dyed his hair dark brown and shaved his beard. When he got home, I thought he was an intruder and screamed. Now he thinks I don't love him because I didn't recognize him. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML
Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML
Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML
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Top comments
neuronerd 29
My boyfriend and I have a policy, "your body, your decisions." Unless it's a health concern, you don't really have a say. It's just a beard. If it really looks that terrible, he'll figure it out on his own.
GhostFox 34
Rational Adult response: Tell him that the texture is really off putting and makes kissing him extremely uncomfortable and even painful from the beard-burn. (Yes, that is an actual thing.) Dickish and Passive Aggressive option: Assuming he takes showers, fill shower head with dye and glitter in his two least favorite clashing colors. Major Asshole option: While he sleeps, put something sticky and stretchy in his beard, like gum. Brightly colored would be even more effective. While two and three would probably have a higher success rate, they are obviously asshole things to do and could put strain on the marriage- well, more than it sounds like it is already- from you trying to control his body. Unless he nags you about your hair/beard/breasts/something-else- beard-equivalent-for-women, don't pester him about his. He might get bored of it or it might look and feel better once it grows out more. He can also condition it like one would condition the hair on top of the head to soften it and at least make the texture of individual hairs better.
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Comments (20)
Ciela 22
No sex
goawayfatman 8
It's his body, not yours. Love and accept him the way he is. Live beard and all. I keep telling my boyfriend this because he complains about my piercings.
SneezyBear 27
The thing is, love can be unconditional but sexual attraction is not. If your partner no longer attracts you, it's healthy to discuss that.
RinoaHeartilly 36
Something to remember, sexual attraction isn't solely based on appearance. That's a large part, but especially later on in a relationship there's also their personality and your time with them that's a large factor.
RinoaHeartilly 36
It sounds like his statement is perfectly true.
sunshine1421 14
is he an emo 15 year old
RinoaHeartilly 36
No, he's a person with feelings and his own style which is being shat on by the person who should be most supportive of him. ****.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
How would you feel if he told you where to shave and showed disgust towards your hair? You can discuss it and you can have your preferences, but ultimately the choice is his... even if it looks gross.
tbo13 7
Does he say anything to you when you miss a spot on your legs, or when you wake up and aren't looking your best?
AmbrosiaFan 19
His body his decision. How are you asking about him shaving? There are many ways to go about doing it, even doing it so well that he would think HE thought up the idea...
Eloise92 3
Then maybe you should love him for who he is and leave his poor beard alone. at the end of the day does it really, truly matter? are you perfect?
EggabethC 4
Grow out your armpit hair and try to convince him to dye his beard some crazy color (and dye your armpit hair too) so that y'all match.
Corri Kiker 7
OP here. Firstly this does get to be contentious as I have fairly sensitive skin, and ever sense he started growing the beard out, it gives me a bit of a rash around my mouth. I'm not ******** on him, I've actually very calmly told him that the beard is unattractive. Mostly because he refuses to maintain it. This includes keeping the neck clean and conditioning. Also mostly because it doesn't grow beyond half an inch, just really thick. I like the idea about growing my armpit hair out. I actually thought about doing that and then dying it. He has also told me he wants me to lose weight and take off all my hair below the neck, so how is it me ******** on him again? And to the girl calling me a ****? Life's a bitch and look in a mirror the next time you want to call someone nasty names. Try being with someone for nearly seven years and finding one thing you just don't like.
Silverion Sairee 14
The double-standards he puts you through is pretty unfair, if he insists on you being hairless from the neck down the least he can do is proper maintenance on his beard with conditioners,balm, beard oils, brushes etc.