Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee with the most beautiful ring box I’d ever seen. My heart raced and my eyes immediately filled with tears in anticipation! When he finally opened it, a fucking spider was inside! I nearly shat myself in terror while he laughed hysterically. FML
Today, my girlfriend, KNOWING I have severe arachnophobia, changed the wallpapers on my phone and tablet to pictures of tarantulas, all because she's mad at me. And she won't change it back. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML
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Top comments
fmljerry26 3
Spiderman obviously.
LordoftheOcelots 10
C'mon people, use your head. We all know Charlotte's Web takes the cake.
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Comments (168)
DocBastard 40
For your husband's sake, I hope your favourite movie is Arachnophobia, not Spiderman.
gc327072 31
Why? Arachnophobia is scary, and that'd just scare the shit outta the poor guy.
chellyX92 8
59, I think you missed the point.
gc327072 31
83- D'oh! Now I get it.... -.-
Epikouros 32
Kudos to your husband for at least trying to overcome his greatest fear, just to give you a nice present.
bach2121 13
Poor guy
Austintyler14 4
At least he tried. It's not a big deal.. Its better than him not trying at all. Don't be a bitch.
GIGA_IMPACT 15
Spiderman?
sougstad 7
That mans man card is null and void. NEXXTT!!!
AH1Zviper 15
So apparently a fear makes a man not a man? YOUR MATURITY CARD IS NULL AND VOID. NEXXXXT
Iniezian 18
Hey, this isn't funny, I'm pretty arachnophobic myself. Trust me, the thought of a big, hairy tarantula scares you more than the thought of walking in a seedy, crime-ridden part of town.
nmlutgen 11
Let me guess, the movie is "Arachnophobia"? Hahaha
greeneyebeauty9 28
at least he really did try.
ohSNAPyall 27
Not really. Sounds like he was getting a second copy of something of hers that he'd already destroyed. That's retribution, not a gift.
Scoutman 5
Got yourself a manly man, dontcha?