By jgtrflynn - 24/06/2013 04:37 - United States - Beggs

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
I agree, your life sucks 87 043
You deserved it 7 942

jgtrflynn tells us more.

My Aunt has ALWAYS done something nice for us after a deployment, she is our only family nearby and frequents our home during his absence to make sure I'm still alive when I disappear for days, she used to freak out but now knows she will always find me passed out next to his motorcycle:p(she knows where my spare key is and uses it so much it might as well be hers.) Normally she is waiting outside for us after corresponding with me, but this time she decided to be secretive to try and scare the pants off us (beat her to it) by hiding in the coat closet directly behind the front door and jumping out right as we came in. We did so loudly, crashing into both doors. Said closet has a push button lock on the outer knob, in perfect position.....then of course we got loud and into ourselves, not noticing her calls or knocks. She knows of course how we are after he returns, but her plan just backfired a bit:)

Top comments


Wizardo 33

She had her cake and ate it too... ;)

13- i think we should go get some grub(s) together sometime. ;)

Wizardo 33

#21, anything that tastes like chicken is good to me :D and of course Lion King all day. I'm guessing the cake tasted like "Pecans with a very pleasant crunch".

the cake actually said "congrats on the sex" so she had to wait

Wizardo 33

#68, and you know this how? Don't tell me you were in the closet too *mortified gasp*

RedPillSucks 31

Just call her "Aunt buckeyed".

Wizardo 33

What nobody knows is that Aunt Buckeyed was lured in there by gnomes with promise of a cake from their hidden bakery, then events really took a turn for the worse...

at least it was your aunt and not your husband coming out of the closet after his deployment.

NavalAvaiations1 5

#1 rule in the family of military handbook is not to disturb said family member and spouse for minimum of one week after deployment.

kristabelli 19

29- if it tastes like, chicken keep on lickin. If it tastes like trout, then get the **** out!

tjv3 10

I'm curious why she didn't announce herself before y'all got naked?

CrookedNipples 17

#157, Maybe they got naked in the living room and then moved to the bedroom. She never had a chance! What I'm wondering though is how she got into the closet in the first place.

kidsgotastinky 11

I don't know but the pie was delicious.

I've heard the FYL button loves being touched sexually. Or so I've heard.

OscarDV 8

I'll replace #2's comment. Your aunt is a creep if she didn't come out the second you guys started in your room. And how did she get into your room/home without you knowing?

Coming out of the cupboard could have disturbed their much needed sex, I think she was being considerate.

It appears 2 was in a rush to be one of the first comments. And in that rush they made a cheap, crappy comment. I prescribe #2 with thumbs down. Checkmate and class dismissed. That is all.

Was the cake a lie?.. The cake is usually a lie..

Play "Portal" If you don't know what I'm going for here.

mif_fml 27

*spoiler alert* Are you ready for this 28? Close this comment bar if you aren't..

Spoiler ahead!!! They release the companion cube with you when you *finally* defeat Gla-Dos! You get to spend eternity with Him/Her/It in an uninhibited world outside the Aperture facility!

Who is this "Gla-Dos" of which you speak?

You actually don't defeat Glados and no one has any idea about what happens after the end of Portal2, maybe not even Valve.

You actually aren't outside the facility. You are dead. The turrets kill you. In some mythology (I think Greek, but I can't remember) when you die, you hear music (turrets singing) and then you go to a wheat field. Hence the ending of portal.

It's funny how you first got a whole bunch of likes, and then when you replied you just got disliked.

#174 that is actually pretty interesting.

SailorSolaris 43

lol, love the Portal reference!

oNisao 21

Aww that was sweet of her :p and awkward :/.. Hopefully the cake was good. :D

RedPillSucks 31

Not so good after it melts.

nightowl713 25

Who hides in a closet? Usually people just waiting in a family room until they walk through here door and jump out and yell surprise! Why would she wait until things got intimate? Definitely suspicious.

plum_lovin 28

I understand that this is an FML for everyone involved but then again as I was reading this, I was happy for the couple because they are happy and faithful to each other. It could have been one of those cheating on each other FML's.

133- I agree, that's where I was expecting it to go. Although I'm still wondering why the aunt was in the closet rather than just in the room waiting, and why she didn't come out the second they came in the door, because then that whole situation would have been avoided...

arleenxo 11

At least she was nice enough to not come out while you guys were doing it

Hiding in your closets and snatchin your people up lol

saraitkddh 47

I don't think anyone would dare to come out

A whole new meaning to "getting some sugar."

Well thats a spin on the normal family get together. But honestly what did she expect to happen? 18 months a long time alone...

Too long for some. Good on OP for being faithful. I wonder what branch of the military her husband is in.

Because, y'know, if it's the Marines then her husband obviously "got some". ;)

Bostern 29

That's what she *says* she was doing in the closet, it does seem pretty strange that she didn't just leave.

What if she got stuck there because the closet was in the bedroom?

nightowl713 25

Why would she hide in a closet in the bedroom?