Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
jgtrflynn tells us more.
My Aunt has ALWAYS done something nice for us after a deployment, she is our only family nearby and frequents our home during his absence to make sure I'm still alive when I disappear for days, she used to freak out but now knows she will always find me passed out next to his motorcycle:p(she knows where my spare key is and uses it so much it might as well be hers.) Normally she is waiting outside for us after corresponding with me, but this time she decided to be secretive to try and scare the pants off us (beat her to it) by hiding in the coat closet directly behind the front door and jumping out right as we came in. We did so loudly, crashing into both doors. Said closet has a push button lock on the outer knob, in perfect position.....then of course we got loud and into ourselves, not noticing her calls or knocks. She knows of course how we are after he returns, but her plan just backfired a bit:)
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Top comments
Q10 5
... How was the cake?
ironichalibut 24
Was the cake a lie?.. The cake is usually a lie..
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Comments (226)
Q10 5
... How was the cake?
Wizardo 33
Slimy yet satisfying...
zandalee 19
She had her cake and ate it too... ;)
ironichalibut 24
13- i think we should go get some grub(s) together sometime. ;)
Mattpig 15
Lion king reference FTW???
Wizardo 33
#21, anything that tastes like chicken is good to me :D and of course Lion King all day. I'm guessing the cake tasted like "Pecans with a very pleasant crunch".
buckeyed 20
the cake actually said "congrats on the sex" so she had to wait
Wizardo 33
#68, and you know this how? Don't tell me you were in the closet too *mortified gasp*
RedPillSucks 31
Just call her "Aunt buckeyed".
buckeyed 20
cake and a show!
Wizardo 33
What nobody knows is that Aunt Buckeyed was lured in there by gnomes with promise of a cake from their hidden bakery, then events really took a turn for the worse...
thatkidhesh 11
at least it was your aunt and not your husband coming out of the closet after his deployment.
LeFrogDog 27
was the cake red velvet?
NavalAvaiations1 5
#1 rule in the family of military handbook is not to disturb said family member and spouse for minimum of one week after deployment.
kristabelli 19
Lol #91 that was EPIC.
robotiick7 23
29- if it tastes like, chicken keep on lickin. If it tastes like trout, then get the **** out!
tjv3 10
I'm curious why she didn't announce herself before y'all got naked?
erin1994 9
@ 18 #imhoodiebitch
CrookedNipples 17
#157, Maybe they got naked in the living room and then moved to the bedroom. She never had a chance! What I'm wondering though is how she got into the closet in the first place.
kidsgotastinky 11
I don't know but the pie was delicious.
profoundkisses 18
Lol FYL
mario2012 18
I've heard the FYL button loves being touched sexually. Or so I've heard.
OscarDV 8
I'll replace #2's comment. Your aunt is a creep if she didn't come out the second you guys started in your room. And how did she get into your room/home without you knowing?
UberNova 18
Coming out of the cupboard could have disturbed their much needed sex, I think she was being considerate.
badminton 14
It appears 2 was in a rush to be one of the first comments. And in that rush they made a cheap, crappy comment. I prescribe #2 with thumbs down. Checkmate and class dismissed. That is all.
WhyAmUHere 19
GG no re?
ironichalibut 24
Was the cake a lie?.. The cake is usually a lie..
ironichalibut 24
Play "Portal" If you don't know what I'm going for here.
mif_fml 27
I miss companion cube..
ironichalibut 24
*spoiler alert* Are you ready for this 28? Close this comment bar if you aren't..
ironichalibut 24
Spoiler ahead!!! They release the companion cube with you when you *finally* defeat Gla-Dos! You get to spend eternity with Him/Her/It in an uninhibited world outside the Aperture facility!
ironichalibut 24
*uninhabited? I guess both work though
Melix 31
The cake is always a lie sir.
Dave_Davington 33
Who is this "Gla-Dos" of which you speak?
Michael_92 20
A potato.
Poppipuff 14
You actually don't defeat Glados and no one has any idea about what happens after the end of Portal2, maybe not even Valve.
GLaDOS_cake 6
You actually aren't outside the facility. You are dead. The turrets kill you. In some mythology (I think Greek, but I can't remember) when you die, you hear music (turrets singing) and then you go to a wheat field. Hence the ending of portal.
roza043 14
It's funny how you first got a whole bunch of likes, and then when you replied you just got disliked.
roza043 14
#174 that is actually pretty interesting.
SailorSolaris 43
lol, love the Portal reference!
oNisao 21
Aww that was sweet of her :p and awkward :/.. Hopefully the cake was good. :D
RedPillSucks 31
Not so good after it melts.
nightowl713 25
Who hides in a closet? Usually people just waiting in a family room until they walk through here door and jump out and yell surprise! Why would she wait until things got intimate? Definitely suspicious.
plum_lovin 28
I understand that this is an FML for everyone involved but then again as I was reading this, I was happy for the couple because they are happy and faithful to each other. It could have been one of those cheating on each other FML's.
VeganVampyre 26
133- I agree, that's where I was expecting it to go. Although I'm still wondering why the aunt was in the closet rather than just in the room waiting, and why she didn't come out the second they came in the door, because then that whole situation would have been avoided...
arleenxo 11
At least she was nice enough to not come out while you guys were doing it
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Gross
edris_305 21
Hiding in your closets and snatchin your people up lol
saraitkddh 47
I don't think anyone would dare to come out
thatgirlinoregon 21
A whole new meaning to "getting some sugar."
SuperDanielNL 23
Well thats a spin on the normal family get together. But honestly what did she expect to happen? 18 months a long time alone...
JACKxRAWR 22
Too long for some. Good on OP for being faithful. I wonder what branch of the military her husband is in.
JACKxRAWR 22
Because, y'know, if it's the Marines then her husband obviously "got some". ;)
blackgirllb 12
awkward...
cosmosis 12
Cheers Scoop! ... Wouldnt have known otherwise
Bostern 29
That's what she *says* she was doing in the closet, it does seem pretty strange that she didn't just leave.
magaliwoodrock 19
What if she got stuck there because the closet was in the bedroom?
nightowl713 25
Why would she hide in a closet in the bedroom?
tj5810 21
....SURPRISE!!