By jgtrflynn - United States - Beggs
Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML
jgtrflynn tells us more :
My Aunt has ALWAYS done something nice for us after a deployment, she is our only family nearby and frequents our home during his absence to make sure I'm still alive when I disappear for days, she used to freak out but now knows she will always find me passed out next to his motorcycle:p(she knows where my spare key is and uses it so much it might as well be hers.) Normally she is waiting outside for us after corresponding with me, but this time she decided to be secretive to try and scare the pants off us (beat her to it) by hiding in the coat closet directly behind the front door and jumping out right as we came in. We did so loudly, crashing into both doors. Said closet has a push button lock on the outer knob, in perfect position.....then of course we got loud and into ourselves, not noticing her calls or knocks. She knows of course how we are after he returns, but her plan just backfired a bit:)
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Top comments
  Wizardo  |  33

#21, anything that tastes like chicken is good to me :D and of course Lion King all day. I'm guessing the cake tasted like "Pecans with a very pleasant crunch".

  Wizardo  |  33

What nobody knows is that Aunt Buckeyed was lured in there by gnomes with promise of a cake from their hidden bakery, then events really took a turn for the worse...

  CrookedNipples  |  17

#157, Maybe they got naked in the living room and then moved to the bedroom. She never had a chance! What I'm wondering though is how she got into the closet in the first place.

  OscarDV  |  8

I'll replace #2's comment. Your aunt is a creep if she didn't come out the second you guys started in your room. And how did she get into your room/home without you knowing?

  badminton  |  14

It appears 2 was in a rush to be one of the first comments. And in that rush they made a cheap, crappy comment. I prescribe #2 with thumbs down. Checkmate and class dismissed. That is all.

  ironichalibut  |  24

Spoiler ahead!!!

They release the companion cube with you when you *finally* defeat Gla-Dos! You get to spend eternity with Him/Her/It in an uninhibited world outside the Aperture facility!

  GLaDOS_cake  |  6

You actually aren't outside the facility. You are dead. The turrets kill you. In some mythology (I think Greek, but I can't remember) when you die, you hear music (turrets singing) and then you go to a wheat field. Hence the ending of portal.

  nightowl713  |  25

Who hides in a closet? Usually people just waiting in a family room until they walk through here door and jump out and yell surprise! Why would she wait until things got intimate? Definitely suspicious.

  plum_lovin  |  28

I understand that this is an FML for everyone involved but then again as I was reading this, I was happy for the couple because they are happy and faithful to each other. It could have been one of those cheating on each other FML's.

  VeganVampyre  |  26

133- I agree, that's where I was expecting it to go. Although I'm still wondering why the aunt was in the closet rather than just in the room waiting, and why she didn't come out the second they came in the door, because then that whole situation would have been avoided...