Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
sigurd 11
You should be able to handle someones farts and take it as a joke when you are married with them. Return the favor :)
SirTalkaton 22
It's not true love until you can fart in front of them. Sounds like you guys are golden
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Comments (89)
khaya 9
If you have to remind someone you are a lady....
kyoyaotori 7
If it really disgusted you then you should have just said that. Everyone farts, so it is not that bad. Blowing the fart in your direction was childish and immature, but it was just for fun. The comment of "dude looks like a lady" was just how his mind worked. Ask him about it later.
JennNoVa 8
Return the favor AFTER withholding sex. It's your duty as a wife and woman!
FaygoAndMiracles 18
I do understand that not everyone finds fart jokes funny, but, I'm sorta leaning towards YDI... mainly because it's sort of sexist to imply that no ladies find fart jokes funny and all men find fart jokes funny. Anyways, maybe, if it bothers you, you can ask your husband not to do that, but, if you are married, you should get used to the fact that you'll hear him fart sometimes.
RissaLea 8
Good thing your not stuck with my man than! He rips them as he pleases and has no mercy! Good thing I have a good sense of humor :)
Ray_of_midnight 23
My girlfriend is 100% woman and gives 'em back as good as she gets. :-) Hey, we all fart, may as well have a little fun with it.
bvbarmy4ever 12
Pffttt What a gentleman...
nurchok 15
Does make him gay?
lsmith6150 18
Ok I have your solution, one day eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at one of those taco trucks, let all that stew for awhile. When you guys go to bed that night Dutch oven him until he can't breathe. Problem solved you win. And if you do a good job he'll be really happy you played alone with his joke. My wife and I fart around each other with no problems, but we mainly get away with it because we have an infestation of barking wall spiders.
gigglesmg 6
As horrid as his actions were...you gotta love his sense of humor