Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
sigurd 11
You should be able to handle someones farts and take it as a joke when you are married with them. Return the favor :)
SirTalkaton 22
It's not true love until you can fart in front of them. Sounds like you guys are golden
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Comments (89)
Bex628 20
That's hilarious! Sounds like something my boyfriend would do. Don't be too hard on him. At least he knows good music.
RedPillSucks 33
Congratulations. You married a 12 year old.
russfml 31
Congratulations, you don't have a sense of humour. Enjoy being a square for life
RedPillSucks 33
Stupid humor is still stupid. Humor should actually be funny. Farting at someone is just juvenile.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Humor is not something that is black-and-white. It may be juvenile or immature to you, but, to him, it was funny. And to some people, maybe they think your humor is dumb or boring, but you like it, don't you? Humor is not something that can actually be "immature" or "mature".
Ayanpatel95 7
Lol all u had to say was "so u married a guy?"
Ceejay1 13
Dirty ass people who think thats funny.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
I don't understand people who tell others they have no sense of humor when they say that fart and subsequent jokes aren't funny. Fart is essentially a waste product. Would you find it equally humorous if someone shat or pissed on you or in your general direction for the sake of a joke?
russfml 31
Yes that is hilarious, if you don't like that type of humour don't be around it, problem solved.
RedPillSucks 33
She's married to him, so it's kind of hard not to be around him.
lsmith6150 18
***** can be funny too, ever hear of an upper decker? They even used that move in the McGrubber movie.
TheLadyOpal 30
I don't really understand how it'd be acceptable to fan your farts at dudes, either. Just feeds into the stereotype that all men are obnoxious pigs.
Neongreenme 8
Its all in good fun! My husband does crap like that all of the time. Lighten up!
kernelkat 16
That's gross. My boyfriend n I have been together for 2 years and I've never once even heard him fart. That's the way it should be.
Mifflicious 18
Does he have to run to the bathroom every time he has to fart then?
TVKill3r 15
Yeah it's the way it should be if you're stuck up and can't be comfortable around each other.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
You know that a fart isn't something you hold in, right? I mean, does your boyfriend not eat? If not, I don't understand how he doesn't have enough gasses to fart.
nikkikinlilla 9
That song is playing in the sub shop where I'm having lunch. Timing is everything.
kezzamumma 3
Ladies fart too