Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
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Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Today, I found out the guys I live with have an ongoing contest to see if they can hit targets on the inside of the toilet lid with urine when they pee. I could forgive this in my seven-year-old son, but not my forty-year-old husband. FML
Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and I went to pee at 2 a.m., with the light off to avoid waking my husband. The wanker had left the seat up, so I fell right into the bowl and got stuck with my cheeks in the water because my belly wouldn’t let me get up. My useless sleeping husband couldn’t hear me yell for help. FML
Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML
Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
he's seen too many Pillsbury Doughboy commercials.
Someone648 10
Well... Urine for a horrible time....
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Comments (125)
Austyn57 1
i love old peopl
DinosaurTacoTime 18
If its habit he might do it while you sit on him. Revenge.
greeneye_fml 12
So make kicking him in the balls after he pokes you your favorite game.
BlueFlatts 20
Doc, can you explain this one to me? Imagine if the Pilsbury Dough Boy had this problem.
BBBBOOOOYYYU 3
Wear a diaper then
asherm 15
It'll be funny for you when you play dick punch. He'll learn
xgetxbentx 13
Put something important to him inberween your legs and tell him that if he keeps it up you'll be sure to piss on all his belongings.
sairbeargirl 4
do pelvic floor exercises, they will help strengthen the muscles surrounding the bladder.
spottyblanket 8
Kick him in the graoin everytime he learns it, then it will stop being his new fave game.
HarpoKeane 15
Game on