Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML
Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML
Today, my fiancee gave me back her engagement ring because I refused to drive her to get cigarettes. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack, and a wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Buy him an awesome vibrator
Evilbear 16
give him tampons and pink nail polish
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Comments (76)
UFIUETSimpdesign 5
Smokins good 4 u
pdp_fml 21
Kind of like buying you a power tool for your anniversary.
simoncat 11
Three years is a long time to be married to an inconsiderate asshole. I'll bet having kids with him is going to be pure joy. I'd buy him a carton and send him packing. But that's just me, the one with the low bullshit threshold.
Vilsitior_93 12
A pack of cigarettes ONLY comes with 20
AGuyNamedI 7
You either don't smoke, or have never left your community. Kudos on your self-assuredness.
8born8 18
Ciggies come in packs of 10's, 20's, 25's, 30's, 40's, 50's & 60's. And then there's the twin packs, the standard pack with 1 bonus cigarette & cartons. Please note that different brands have different pack quantities & variations.
amberlyyyy 15
Hopefully he was just joking! :)
ifailcuzilame 8
You married him. Didn't you know what you were getting into??
8born8 18
Your husband must have bought the fresh pack on his way home as he probably had a few left in his current pack. He's panicked & given you the only thing he had on him at the time. Personally, I would've said something to the effect of it's still on layby or hasn't arrived in the post yet just to buy a bit of extra time to cover my butt.
Sneado 20
Look him dead in the eye as you crumple them up and toss them in the trash.