Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML
Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML
Today, my fiancee gave me back her engagement ring because I refused to drive her to get cigarettes. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack, and a wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Buy him an awesome vibrator
Evilbear 16
give him tampons and pink nail polish
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Comments (76)
iSativa 24
It's the thought that counts?
starile 20
And his thought was, "My addiction is more important than you."
singer0421 32
So while he's not looking stomp on them and throw them away.
MissCharlotte_fml 26
Go buy yourself some nice shoes... for "him" of course.
Inked0803 12
Next year charge an expensive piece of jewelry for yourself on his card and say its not for you it's for me
bo501 4
Guess who's not getting laid on their 3rd anniversary!
blackwidowtaco 31
Wow, that's highly inconsiderate of him. Sorry op!
PenguinBitch 44
It's a trap OP, he's secretly trying to kill you slowly. "Til' death do us part"
Hutch1965 6
There's a fix for that. It's called DIVORCE.
PenguinBitch 44
Three Cigarettes for the Hippie-kings under the sky, Seven for the Cuban-lords in their huts of stone, Nine for Biker Men doomed to ride One for the Dark Wife (you) on her dark throne In the Land of U.K where the Queen hogs the gold.... He just couldn't afford the rings.
Xatraris 38
One pack to rule them all, one pack to find them. One pack to bring them all, and in the darkness smoke them.
Bluelephant88 5
Put them somewhere in the house where he can see them but don't let him use them because there "your gift" then next time he will think first before buying you something that is really for him lol