Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my loneliness pushed me to buy a pack of cigarettes just so I had to show my ID to the clerk, hoping he would wish me a happy birthday. I don't even smoke and he didn't say anything. FML
Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML
Today, my fiancee gave me back her engagement ring because I refused to drive her to get cigarettes. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack, and a wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Buy him an awesome vibrator
Evilbear 16
give him tampons and pink nail polish
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Comments (76)
perdix 31
At least you'll get to smell his aromatic cigarette breath for the next day or so. I believe that's the traditional Third Anniversary gift. (The modern gift is smoldering resentment.)
kokoroddd 2
YDI for eating 100000000000000000000000000000000 cans of beans!
xALEXx_fml 15
A beneficial gift for him- maybe he's playing around and an awesome gift is coming for you!
elsuperloco68 12
Hey i bought my wife a nice fishing pole one anniversary ago. She don't fish- her lost my gain!!! Jajajja
ViviMage 40
I think he cares more about his addiction than you. =(
worldclassrager 41
Well then treat yourself also...or maybe have one cigarette with him for old times sake...
RedPillSucks 33
soak them in gasoline.
Dame84 6
Wow, that's a bit heartless & tackey.
Greenmarsh 31
He wants you to start smoking, you to can share more time because you have more in common.
emchocolat_fml 25
Most likely he didn't have a present ready, panicked and gave her the newest thing he could find around the house.