Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several... - FML

By TrashGirl - 24/6/2018 01:30

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4835

You deserved it

358

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Rock, hard place

Rich people problems

By pierced. - 25/6/2014 04:29 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49739

You deserved it

6100

Tweet

Share

By buccaneer - 23/10/2012 16:26 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23771

You deserved it

3519

Tweet

Share

By Dragoness11 - 27/3/2014 14:12 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38983

You deserved it

9561

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/1/2013 21:33 - United States - Carrollton

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47093

You deserved it

6510

Tweet

Share

By beaverfever - 6/8/2014 16:45 - Poland - Kolobrzeg

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47171

You deserved it

10723

Tweet

Share

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27784

You deserved it

4597

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 18/1/2009 10:24 - United States

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24852

You deserved it

4276

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/3/2017 14:00

'Cause I'm a Criminal

Today, I woke up to find both of my bank accounts frozen. My bank informed me that the IRS had ordered a freeze on my assets because of back taxes owed, and would not unfreeze them until the money is paid. The amount? $2.47. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6596

You deserved it

804

Tweet

Share

By wellgreat - 14/4/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59380

You deserved it

6470

Tweet

Share

By Check Writer - 20/5/2013 23:07 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39622

You deserved it

3198

Tweet

Share

By Antoine Karam - 27/6/2019 04:30

Today, I was invited to an engagement. My crush is getting engaged next month to a man she told me she hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1618

You deserved it

213

Tweet

Share

By Spanishredhead - 3/10/2009 10:31 - United States

Today, I checked in a group of men from Mexico. I speak just enough Spanish to realize they're discussing my breasts. I have to stand there smiling while checking in three more people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37021

You deserved it

3866

Tweet

Share

By unwanted - 11/8/2009 20:31 - Canada

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

I agree, your life sucks

44998

You deserved it

6531

Tweet

Share

By armtits and big pits - 5/4/2014 07:14 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51162

You deserved it

8246

Tweet

Share

By ash - 14/1/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36042

You deserved it

16080

Tweet

Share

By Ah piss - 15/9/2010 16:52 - United States

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27003

You deserved it

3866

Tweet

Share

By EveOnRoad - 5/5/2019 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 9 years rode with his mother after boot camp graduation. She acts more like a jealous lover than a mom, so I'm currently chasing them all over Chicago in a blizzard, with her refusing to stop the car so he can see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1886

You deserved it

215

Tweet

Share

By wrongcolorwrongcreed - 30/5/2019 10:43

Today, I went with my boyfriend of 10 months to rent a car, for which he needed his dad to sign for. To avoid introducing me, he banished me to the nearest airport terminal, and picked me up 45 minutes later, around 11:30 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1678

You deserved it

291

Tweet

Share

By adeeri - 4/9/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36190

You deserved it

3206

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33735

You deserved it

3130

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/6/2014 19:06 - United States - Lake Wales

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57353

You deserved it

5003

Tweet

Share

By Banana - 4/12/2012 16:04 - Puerto Rico

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33828

You deserved it

6870

Tweet

Share

By oops - 30/7/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29069

You deserved it

7060

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/4/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47392

You deserved it

5506

Tweet

Share

By LonelyInLA - 16/2/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42461

You deserved it

4950

Tweet

Share

By GT716 - 7/4/2009 12:50 - United States

Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks

61908

You deserved it

13877

Tweet

Share

By minimoonpie - 7/9/2011 11:55 - Australia

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30986

You deserved it

2676

Tweet

Share

By 30Jenna - 13/7/2011 22:01 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47627

You deserved it

6276

Tweet

Share

By creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22116

You deserved it

2495

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/1/2016 05:17 - United States - Norristown

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22001

You deserved it

1767

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 14/9/2010 07:57 - United States

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30187

You deserved it

6885

Tweet

Share

By ohaifml - 4/9/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32387

You deserved it

2806

Tweet

Share

By amandadonnelly97 - 1/5/2020 05:00

Xbox (not in) One (piece)

Today, after weeks of saving, we finally got our Xbox One delivered. The courier guy who was bringing it up the two stories of stairs tripped on his laces, throwing the package over the side of the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1593

You deserved it

103

Tweet

Share

By Callum536 - 22/8/2016 09:51 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's my birthday and I'd invited quite a lot of my friends to come round and have some fun. When I got home, I saw a few cars outside. It turned out to be for the neighbours. I waited and waited; none of my friends showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12851

You deserved it

851

Tweet

Share

By Blake Lawrence - 26/11/2012 18:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26693

You deserved it

2593

Tweet

Share

By need2eat - 15/6/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54710

You deserved it

5562

Tweet

Share

By Penguinsuit - 13/3/2018 01:30

Today, I threw my clothes in the laundry and had only penguin pajamas to wear. My mother forgot to mention that she was expecting a handyman. Guess who got greeted by an adult woman in a penguin suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4043

You deserved it

818

Tweet

Share

By kilamo80 - 27/7/2013 09:26 - United States - Clarkston

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52331

You deserved it

4133

Tweet

Share

By DarkChild - 11/2/2016 22:18 - France

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22318

You deserved it

1574

Tweet

Share

By considering murder - 25/3/2016 17:19 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on a huge project after 8 months of gruelling work. My boss had used the promise of a 5-figure bonus to motivate me. When I casually brought the bonus up later in the day, my boss just said "Gratitude's its own reward, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23757

You deserved it

1700

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By real life problems | 26

#7652365 - Sunday 24 June 2018 1:47

And they say men forget anniversary dates

By RichardPencil | 28

#7652363 - Sunday 24 June 2018 1:37

Silly man, paper is a 1st anniversary gift!

He should have served you the notice on nice bronze tablets for the 8th anniversary.

Next time, marry a guy who knows his shit!

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 28

#7652363 - Sunday 24 June 2018 1:37

Silly man, paper is a 1st anniversary gift!

He should have served you the notice on nice bronze tablets for the 8th anniversary.

Next time, marry a guy who knows his shit!

By real life problems | 26

#7652365 - Sunday 24 June 2018 1:47

And they say men forget anniversary dates

By TheUnforgiven | 8

#7652378 - Sunday 24 June 2018 3:43

F

Reply

RudyH621 | 25

#7652518 - Sunday 24 June 2018 13:43

F

Reply

chubbear | 14

#7652631 - Sunday 24 June 2018 20:35

F

By Zekfen | 17

#7652386 - Sunday 24 June 2018 5:48

I would argue that is a well thought out gift also! He did you a huge favor!

By cbchawks | 14

#7652387 - Sunday 24 June 2018 6:04

damn OP. let karma wreck him. just curious tho, what kind of gifts did you get him. I'm looking for ideas and am up the creek..

By vaderfc | 19

#7652473 - Sunday 24 June 2018 10:08

well im sure he put some thought into that gift as well

By Davros | 12

#7652482 - Sunday 24 June 2018 10:42

who knows, maybe you got the better deal

By Takegami | 22

#7652542 - Sunday 24 June 2018 15:36

I have no words. I hope he stubs his toe in the doorframe on the way out OP

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#7652954 - Monday 25 June 2018 0:15

That's 15 words.

By KaD6 | 23

#7652559 - Sunday 24 June 2018 16:48

I'm so sorry. You sound like a kind hearted and considerate person and your love and effort will be better spent on someone who will appreciate it.

Reply

inappropes | 31

#7653395 - Tuesday 26 June 2018 2:43

How could you possibly know any of that? OP could be cheating on her spouse and conveniently left that out lol.

By dexter420 | 21

#7652568 - Sunday 24 June 2018 18:20

Its al about that Bass no treble