Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML
Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, I tried to bake a cake for my friend's birthday. It turned out looking more like a science experiment gone wrong than a cake. FML
Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, all that I wanted for my birthday was for someone else to pick out a cake flavor, and to spend the day alone. I've been asked ten times what kind of cake I want, and my husband took a off work. FML
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Top comments
rukusrazor 0
Yawn, ok, so is this a FML because the camera got cocoa powder on it? Or because it got on you? *beats head on desk*
nayjones 0
Cocoa powder is flammable in cloud form, add the candles and....well you can guess the rest
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Comments (92)
MrCanoe 5
you think your life is ****** because you got some cocoa powder on you? are you a clean freak or something?
Anonymiz 4
"probably"?!?!!!
kfj19 0
as a baker, :)
nieska18 0
anyone watch 1000 ways to die? one way is INHAILING coca powder. so fyl for trying to kill ur husband. LOL.
Littlebrraatt 14
FTW!!!!!
mattyiscool123 26
I don't think you want to be going by that show
Intoxicunt 5
That show is awesome. I like the one about being in the pressure chamber thing to get rid of the Bens(sp?) and someone opens it. She explodes!!! :)
palleas_fml 0
usually if a pressure chamber is under pressure, opening it is impossible if the chamber is intelligently built... about your comment, I already noticed how you mix things, that's partly why I noticed your comment, going sometimes from one extremes to the other. But this one was too obvious I guess ^^
Intoxicunt 5
Yeah, I don't know how plausible it is, but it sounds freakin' sweet. I personally love to cross lines and be as crass as humanly possible. I just refuse to type like an idiot, so I come across as the "smart" type. Edit: Was a reply.
freddy8289 1
lmao. u need to see into the future better
memeweaver 0
Made some cakes last year for some Army units on the Army birthay- black frosting with the Army Star emblem on it. They were exactly what they ordered. Then people started eating them, and the frosting turned their teeth pleasant shade of purple.
Arin_Wolfe 2
My friend did the same thing with powedered sugar once.
knightknight 0
oh your life is ******...