Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my daughter flew completely off the handle when she found out I have a girlfriend, and called me an unfaithful sinning bastard, who’s going to hell for cheating on her mother. Her mother's been dead for 20 years and this is the first time I’ve met a woman since then. FML
Today, my daughter came crying to me that her boyfriend cheated on her. I'd like to comfort her, if it weren't for the fact that she manipulated him into cheating on his previous girlfriend with her. FML
Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML
Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
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Top comments
Airman1988 9
You may have an manipulative genius on your hands.
chrissy2 28
I feel like someone wants mommy out of the house.
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Comments (169)
unicornpower56 7
My mom threatens to break my finger whenever I cuss cause when my sisters mad at me she tells her when I've cussed. I then rat out on her and say she said bitch and she says "only one time." only one time, my ass. My little sister who just turned ten recorded a video saying bitch, my mom seen it and didn't do anything.
unicornpower56 7
My mom threatens to break my finger whenever I cuss cause when my sisters mad at me she tells her when I've cussed. I then rat out on her and say she said bitch and she says "only one time." only one time, my ass. My little sister who just turned ten recorded a video saying bitch, my mom seen it and didn't do anything.
MrSarary 26
Burn !!! By your own daughter :D
harp 9
Busted!
gdam 4
Well, is it true?
VolleyAly 14
68- actually proverb 13:24 is along the lines of "those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them." and using it as an excuse to beat your children is one of many misinterpretations in the bible. When called "the rod" it is used metaphorically. When it's called "a rod" it is literal. This demonstrated in Lamentations 3:1—“I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath.” It is not a literal "rod of wrath"
etchsanity1 11
The kid may not be lying OP never states that she was just makes innocently a sarcastic word and implies it... The sarcasm on that word could be from the kid ratting her out and pretending she didn't know it would be an issue.
HughHolmes 10
she probably don't want her dad to get hurt later. n yeah u r totally busted !!
viper8608 9
ah. it brightens my heart to see an evil genius in the making.
kalbrek009 20
I learned to cuss @ a very young age myself & told my mom the truth (that I learned it from her & dad..they swore a lot @ each other) only to get an ass whooping for "lying"..maybe she learned it from you two or her friends @ school. I know little kids can be monster liars (as two of my siblings were), yet I can't help but think of he possibility that you may in fact have a boyfriend on the side & she wanted to shift the focus on you instead of herself...as I've seen many times. If you don't have a man on the side, then truly FYL & put your kid into therapy.