Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, I was trying on a dress at my grandmother's house. When I posed for her, she told me she would expand the waist, because I won't be sucking in the whole time I would be wearing it. The joke's on you Grandma, I've been sucking my stomach in since I was twelve years old. FML
Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, my grandpa pointed out my slightly larger than usual belly and made fun of it, by comparing it to a kidney bag. I’ve been underweight since I was 13, and when I finally gain weight someone has to make fun of it. FML
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
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Top comments
Barriaultcory 16
When she has a stroke and they ask you to call 911 just tell her to suck it up
flashback.miss 28
make sound effects to what he does and see how he likes it. as for your grandmother, next time she complains about something related to her age, tell her to suck it up.
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Comments (67)
iazy9 14
"Somewhat overweight" = "pretty fat"
jasmine2301 25
He*
JanisEvans 10
Defo.
misspulkadot24 17
Ahh, bullying the overweight; how original. Tell your grandma that if she's going to be a bitch, at least be creative.
olpally 33
Anyone can easily make jokes like that... It's okay.. She'll be dead soon. You'll win this battle. Take it with a grain of salt.
Cristian89 29
Make old people noises whenever she does something lol
Caitie_kid 8
What do you consider "old people noises"? Lol
Sheh_fml 25
Creaks and outdated references about long-dead film stars?
allie2590 31
Get your shoes off the chesterfield!!
LegolasPrincess 10
Tell them you will not suck it up, and they can **** off.
jasmine2301 25
What chu tryna say?
kiaora_fml 11
When she falls ill and the family asks you to call 911 don't, just imitate a heart monitor
aly_pinay22 8
Losing weight would be the sweetest revenge.
DDiddy 12
How would that be revenge?! Yes, its healthy and a good suggestion, but revenge would be "making old people noises" like others have suggested. Don't judge if you don't know the whole story.
Sheh_fml 25
I don't think people have the right to do that no matter what weight you are.
DDiddy 12
I feel your pain. Something similar happened with my grandmom (but parents are worse). I just didn't expect it from someone I haven't seen in ages, who's supposed to be nice. Let's just say I don't talk to them anymore; not worth it.
Fernando83 19
stop being fat.