Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

Body issues

Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML

Family heirloom

Today, I got the dress I gave to a tailor to replace a broken zipper back. When I tried it on, I discovered that they’d cut at least 4 inches of fabric, and being skinny, there’s no way I can ever fit into it. It’s from the 1950’s, inherited from my late grandma, who in turn inherited it from her aunt. FML

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

Ripper

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

Today, I found out that my mother intentionally donated the quilt that I had made for her, because, "It didn't match anything". That was $70 worth of fabric and 7 and a half weeks spent on that handiwork of mine. FML